What Comes Next?
by Alyce of the Togas
Summary: What happens to Steph when Morelli and Ranger are both out of the picture, and Steph's life is actually working out? Rating is just in case. Lester/Steph.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I'm feeling guilty about starting this fic when I have so many uncompleted ones which I haven't updated in ages (years!). I've recently become a bit of a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

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What Comes Next?

Chapter One

* * *

I sighed as I pulled on my black cargo pants and polo shirt. I shouldn't be sighing, because for once, my life was actually on track.

I was doing fantastically in my job and I have managed to put a nice bundle of money into savings. I've had my apartment renovated with a magnificent new bathroom. My current car isn't pre-loved (or hated, as was the case with some of them previously) and has lasted past the six month period, a new record for me. I've even dealt with my conflicting emotions concerning Morelli and Ranger.

So – all in all – life should be great. Right?

I make my way into my kitchen to pour a cup of coffee, adding the required cream and sugar.

Ok, so life should be great, but it isn't.

Sipping my coffee, I think back to that week, seven months ago that changed everything.

* * *

One of my previous skips, Denny Johnson, had been released from jail, and was out to get me. So having a crazy after me wasn't particularly unusual, and this time after getting my current car blown up by him I was out for revenge. Not to mention he was FTA again, and my cut of the money if I bought him in would be enough to live off for at least a month and half.

Now, Denny Johnson wasn't easy to bring in the first time. After having gotten away from me for the fourth time in as many days, and leaving me covered in garbage, he thought he would be safe for a night, and hit one of his favourite local haunts. Big mistake. He had broken my good luck at avoiding being covered in garbage for two weeks, and nobody was getting away with that. Not to mention I had to drive the dreaded Buick again due to him.

So after Denny had gotten himself so drunk he could barely crawl, let alone walk, and kicked out of the bar, I just walked straight up and led him to the backseat of my car. He thought I was a taxi driver. When he had passed out in the back, I hogtied him up and hightailed it to the police station.

Eddie was filling in on the desk when I got to the station and with the help of another officer got Denny out my car and into a cell. He joked about losing the most recent betting pool on me, especially after the week's earlier car bombing and garbage incident. I just smirked smugly as I received my body receipt and swang back to my car. As soon as I made it back to my apartment I fell into bed, feeling pretty good about myself.

The good mood continued as I woke up to the smell of fresh coffee and donuts. Bouncing into my kitchen I found both items sitting on the counter with a note. _I'm proud of you Babe_. Ranger. Grinning I grabbed my coffee and started and to get ready for the day.

Now – this is where it all starts to go downhill. I headed into the Bonds office with my body receipt for Denny and half a dozen Boston Creams, and who should be waiting outside but Morelli. I ignored him while Connie wrote my check and gave me some more FTA files which had come in. I chucked the donuts to Lula to keep her occupied and went outside to talk to Morelli.

When I got out there, I could tell he was mad. Clenching and unclenching his fists. His jaw was tight. And the muscles in his shoulders were tense.

"Denny Johnson?" was all Morelli said.

My smug smile from the night before spread across my face, "Yeah?"

That made Morelli lose it. He was shouting and waving his arms around, going on about how I shouldn't have even tried to bring Denny in, and was amazed that I managed it without getting myself killed. He even threw in the whole 'I won't be letting you do this once we're married' and 'you'll never see Ranger or his goons again' crap.

I just stood there, waiting for the temper tantrum to blow over, my foot tapping calmly and my arms crossed over my chest. Lula and Connie were watching out the window of the bonds office, and I think I even saw Vinnie poke his head out to see what the ruckus was. Not to mention some passersby had stopped to watch the scene.

When Morelli had finally run out of steam, I just looked at him and said, "We're over Joe. I'm not marrying you now or ever. Please don't contact me again." I had decided a couple days beforehand to break it off permanently with Morelli. No more of this on-off again relationship. It wasn't healthy for either of us. After making my short speech I started to walk to the Buick. Unfortunately I hadn't made it very far when Morelli's hand grasped my left wrist and jerked me around to face him, the motion causing my wrist to bend in an unnatural position. I could hear a sickening crunching sound and then pain.

The last I remembered seeing was Lula pushing Morelli away and holding him at gunpoint, then Connie's voice shouting for an ambulance for me. That's when I dropped into unconsciousness.

I don't actually remember much from the rest of that day, except for waking up in hospital with a heavy cast on my left wrist. But Lula and Connie (not to mention my mother and grandmother) have filled me in on what happened after I passed out.

Lula really did hold Morelli at gunpoint, until the police showed up. Eddie and Big Dog were the first on the scene and managed to get a photo on Big Dog's phone of it. Lula now has that photo framed and sitting upon her mantle piece. I got taken away in an ambulance to St. Francis' hospital, while Lula and Connie filled in the police on what had happened and statements were taken from the people who had been watching. Apparently Eddie and Big Dog were so angry that they took Morelli into the station in the back of their patrol car. And booked him with physical abuse.

I was told that throughout the whole process, Morelli had looked sick and pale. Apparently he hadn't meant to hurt me. Even though I was angry as hell, especially about having to wear a freaking cast on my arm, I've let the charges drop on the condition that Morelli leaves me alone and doesn't make contact. So far he has kept this condition, except to apologise about it. And the guys down at the station make sure of it as well. I don't think they've forgiven him, even though it was only an accident.

After being released from hospital I gladly headed home, courtesy of a lift from my Dad. He helped me up to my apartment and kissed my check. "I'm proud of you Stephanie" was all he said before ambling back down the hallway. I shrugged and used my key to open my apartment door. I was tired and all I wanted to do was take some painkillers for my arm, then crawl into bed.

My plans were ruined however, because when I stepped into my apartment and had closed and locked the door, I felt Ranger's presence. "Babe" was all he said before pushing me up against the wall and giving me a mind-melting kiss. ..

But something wasn't quite right about the kiss, and both Ranger and I pulled back. I must have looked shocked, and he looked confused.

It took us both a second to realise what was wrong...

There was no chemistry. Nada. Nil. Zilch.

After three or so years of built up sexual chemistry, not to mention that amazing single night, it floored both of us that there was nothing there.

I gave Ranger a shaky smile, and held out my hand for a handshake, "Friends?"

He grasped my good hand and softly pulled me in against his chest for a hug, "Yeah, Babe. Friends."

After that we sat on my couch drinking a beer each and just talking. During this conservation, Ranger offered me a position at Rangeman. No – not because he was feeling sorry for me, because I wouldn't be able chase skips with one wrist in a cast - but because he was impressed with how I handled the final Denny Johnson takedown. He mentioned something about finally having the patience to sit and wait out a decent plan for a takedown.

So starting on the Monday I started working full time at Rangeman. I realised how much leeway I had been given before, because this time I was treated exactly like a new recruit. I'm happy about this now, though it took a bit of getting used to at the beginning.

It turns out that for the first six months of employment, new recruits don't do any fieldwork. They learn the ins and outs of Rangeman. This involves learning everything. Computers, background searches, breaking and entering, protocols for fieldwork, guns and weapons... Everything.

Of course, due to my wrist being in a cast for the first six weeks of employment I was restricted to working with Hector. At first I was a bit scared due to the gang tattoos (especially the teardrop) and not being able to understand each other, but we clarified everything quick enough. It turns out Hector does speak English. Very good English. But he likes to make others think he can't – it means he can just get his work done without the idle chitchat, and people will talk around him thinking he can't understand. Which is extremely useful for gathering information. I still haven't found out about the tattoos, but Hector doesn't give off a bad vibe or set my spidery tingle off so I've left the topic alone.

He showed me how to weave my way through masses of information, computer data and background searches. He even (sneakily) taught me how to hack into basic systems and networks and not get caught. I learnt how to wire up security monitors and devices. Hector started to turn me into techie. He even joked that he was starting to run out of things to teach me, and that he never heard "so, what comes next?" out of one persons mouth so often.

After my cast got taken off, the routine changed a bit. Exercising, self defence, street fighting and weaponry were all covered. Now I look forward to hitting the mat with my training buddy Bobby. I've even managed to beat him a couple times recently.

Ranger and I are friends, and we act exactly like that. The guys at Rangeman felt the shift in our relationship that first day I started working there. They were confused at first, but are more comfortable with me being around, and I've become close friends with a lot of them. It's something that wouldn't have happened if Ranger and I had still had the 'chemistry' going on.

Even my mother has let up recently about my job and has stopped setting me up on blind dates. I think she's just happy I'm not having my car blown up on a regular basis, and isn't receiving phone calls asking about why I was covered in Vaseline.

* * *

So, as I said before, life was going great. Or was meant to be.

Which brings me back to my sighing.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I've recently become a bit of a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter - all feedback and encouragement is welcomed.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

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What Comes Next?

Chapter Two

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So, as I said before, life was going great. Or was meant to be.

_Which brings me back to my sighing._

* * *

Putting my now empty coffee cup down on the counter I shook my head. That's enough thinking about the past now. No more sighing over my lack of love life or the fact that I've become best friends with my shower massager. Honesty – being around all those fine looking guys nearly every day takes its toll on a woman. Just because I don't let my hormones show these days, doesn't mean they aren't on full throttle. I mean, just the other day Lester's favourite pen rolled behind his desk, and he spent a good five minutes on his hands and knees under the desk looking for it. And there I was, with a perfect view from behind.

Hmmm... Yum.

I shook my head again; this was no time for fantasies either. I had to get to work. I grabbed my purse, strapped in my gun into its halter on my hip and scootered downstairs to my car.

I had a half day shift teamed with Bobby watching the Rangeman monitors and needed to be in the right headspace for it, not to mention also being on time. While I had been doing normal fieldwork for about a month now, it was split up evenly with the work in the office, something I didn't mind too much. At least Bobby was good company – and it was only a five hour shift.

I pulled into the underground car park at Haywood and parked. Realising I only had four minutes until my shift started, and that the elevator would take at least five, I flung myself into the stairwell and sprinted to the fifth floor. When I burst through the door leading into the hallway, I turned a sharp right nearly running right into Tank, and raced down to the hallway where the glass door to the monitoring room stood.

Pushing through the door, I looked at the clock, "Whoo, right on time," I managed to pant out while doing a small happy dance. Cal and Ram, who Bobby and I were taking over from, just grinned, while Bobby shook his head with a small smile on his face. It was the same every time Bobby and I were working together. Honestly – I'm always ready on time, I just like to see his reaction. It's pathetic, but it gives me a bit of kick. And he still hasn't caught on that it's intentional.

I slid into the chair that Ram had vacated and Bobby sat down next to me. He had obviously gotten here earlier to fix us both a cup of coffee and snacks for the shift. God bless him. I sipped my coffee while training my eyes on the monitors. Thank god this was only for five hours – I much prefer putting my newly found computer skills to work if I'm in the office.

I was sitting at the monitors by myself. Bobby had gone for a bathroom break and to stretch his legs. When he gets back, I got to go. It had been a quiet shift so far. Nothing had happened at all, and the guys in the field were all doing preliminary surveillance work, so it was quiet out there as well.

I was surprised when a body sat down in Bobby's chair, he still had five minutes of his break left, and nobody – and I mean nobody, comes back from their break five minutes early. So I knew it wasn't Bobby straight away. Quickly sliding my eyes across and off the monitors I wasn't surprised to see Lester sitting there.

The odd thing was, instead of his usual 'Beautiful' and bear hug, he was looking quite nervous. Lester never looked nervous; I wonder what's up...

"Hey Steph," Lester said while fiddling with his hands, "Can I talk to you privately when Bobby comes back?"

I smiled, my curiosity piqued, "Of course Lester. I'll meet you outside once my break starts."

He gave me a weak smile and hauled himself up from the chair, "Thanks Steph, I'll be waiting outside."

Bobby came in a few minutes later and plopped back into his chair, "Your turn Steph." I stood and stretched, my back clicking satisfactory. "Thanks Bobby, I'll be back in ten." And walked outside to where Lester was pacing the hallway.

He stopped when he saw me. Lester was even more nervous than before, and I was thrown off by it. He was always so confident and outgoing.

I gestured to the stairwell, and he nodded his agreement. While there were still cameras in all of the stairwells, there wasn't any sound. When we had positioned ourselves so that the cameras couldn't catch our lips, Lester let out a long breath.

"I have something to ask you Steph. And I'll completely understand if you shoot me down. Not to mention if you stun gun me..."

I interrupted the beginning of Lester's ramble, "Just ask me Lester and let me decide whether I shoot you down or not," and shot a soft smile with an inquisitive eyebrow to him.

"Ok. But I know you're not going to like it..."

I was starting to get impatient and my foot started to tap, "Just tell me what's up already!"

Lester sucked in a big breath of air, "I told my aunt that we were engaged four months ago and now she's coming to visit and expects me to have you as my fiancé, living with me and she's started to talk about wedding plans, and I need you, am begging you to-"

I couldn't help it. I started to laugh. This was ridiculous and Lester must have been put up by the guys to prank me, "Wow Lester, this is a hilarious prank, you can tell the others that I'm not falling for it," I started to open the stairwell door; "It was a nice try though. Maybe next time you'll make it more believable."

Lester moved to in front of me, and I looked up into his face. It was serious and his eyes held an emotion in them that I couldn't place.

Oh bugger.

Lester was bloody serious. It wasn't a joke. If it had been he would have cracked by now.

"Steph – I'm being serious-"

Shit, the time, my break was about to end, "Lester my break is ending, like, right now, so I have to go." I opened the door again, "Come round to my place tonight and bring dinner. Then you can explain yourself properly."

He just nodded, and I walked, quickly, back to my desk.

Well at least I have a lot to think about for the next two and half hours...

Like: Why on earth would Lester make me his pretend fiancé?

It wasn't until I was in the shower at home after my shift that I started to feel nervous. Curiosity had kicked in as soon as I sat down again in front of the monitors, and my thoughts had whirled. For once Bobby didn't have to tell me to stop fidgeting when it came to the final hour of monitoring.

All sorts of questions had gone through my mind. Such as, why on earth would Lester lie about being engaged? Why would he pick me as his pretend fiancé? Who is this aunt that Lester has never mentioned before (or at least to me)? Does he really expect me to pretend to be his fiancé? If I did agree, how would we make it believable?

That last question was a real doozy to think about. Everybody in Trenton knows about the Bombshell Bounty Hunter, and more often than not, in bad or amusing way. Not to mention the Burg gossip would be running hot if I were actually engaged...

* * *

I sighed as I nibbled at a donut. I still had most of the afternoon before Lester arrived. Perhaps a nap would be a good idea – just to clear the cobwebs away from my mind.

I sat up in bed, startled. What was that noise?

Looking at the clock I realise it is 6:30pm. Oh right – the door. Knocking. Lester.

Dear god, I am almost afraid to hear about how Lester has gotten into this...

I walked out of my bedroom and headed towards the front door. At least he isn't letting himself in like most of the guys would.

And I suppose it will be interesting to hear how Lester got himself into this situation.

It's almost reminiscent of something I would inadvertently do.

I opened the front door for Lester, and the wonderful scent of Chinese takeaway started to fill my apartment, instantly making my mouth water. Though, even if Lester wasn't holding Chinese takeaway, I still might have drooled at the sight of him in dark denim jeans and a t-shirt with a motif on the front.

"Hey earth to Steph. Are you going to let me in? Or are we eating dinner in the doorway?" I looked up from the bags holding the takeaway to Lester's face. He had a slight smile and his eyes were sparkling. Well – that was a change from the last time I saw him.

"Huh – oh right, come on in. I'll grab some dishes and cutlery."

When I returned from the kitchen, also cradling two beers, Lester had already set up the food on the coffee table. And, damn, it smelt and looked amazing. I didn't really want to try and have what was potentially going to be a serious conversation while trying to eat...

Lester snatched the plates and cutlery from me, and set about serving the food. I popped the tops off the beers, and handed him one, as he handed me a plate.

Smiling Lester said, "How about we eat first, drink our beer, then talk?"

Perfect.

"That sounds good Lester, this food looks amazing and I don't want to ruin it by having to talk."

He just smiled again at me.

What a change from back at the office, when he was actually displaying nervousness. Something must have happened between us talking in the stairwell to now...

Maybe his aunt isn't visiting anymore, and has cancelled her trip or whatever? Or maybe Lester has just told her the truth, that he doesn't have a fiancé? Either way – something has changed, and I need the whole story...

Lester and I both put our plates down simultaneously. Suddenly, Lester was all nerves again, fiddling with a cushion on the couch. I turned to sit sideways, so I could face him, pulling my legs up underneath my body, "Ok Lester. It's time for you to tell me what's happening."

He sighed and slouched back into the couch. "Yep. It is." He sat forward and turned around to face me, "But I want you to try not to judge or interrupt me while I'm telling you the whole story." His eyes pleaded with me.

I had to fight the soft smile that was threatening to appear on my face. He looked so... Vulnerable. Completely unusual for Lester, but not in a bad way.

"Ok Lester – I promise to try."

He nodded as his eyes drifted away from me towards the window, slightly glassing over. Hmm... This is going to take awhile. I settled back into the armrest and waited for Lester to start talking.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I've recently become a bit of a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter - all feedback and encouragement is welcomed.

This is a somewhat short chapter (more of an interlude really), but I felt that it had to end where it did, hence the shortness.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

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What Comes Next?

Chapter Three

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"_Ok Lester – I promise to try."_

_He nodded as his eyes drifted away from me towards the window, slightly glassing over. Hmm... This is going to take awhile. I settled back into the armrest and waited for Lester to start talking. _

* * *

"Unlike some of the other guys, I had a really great childhood. I don't remember my parents... They died in a car crash when I was two years old. The only living relative I had then was my Aunt, who took me in and cared for me. She was only twenty-two years old at the time, and had been living the free life. I remember, later, hearing some old women in the local grocery store calling her a 'free spirit'."

Lester paused and focused on me, letting a slight smile cross his lips, "And she was. My aunt never married nor had children of her own. In the town we lived, she was a bit of a controversy. She's always said that she never felt the need to. She did raise me, if a bit unconventionally, and to me, she is my parents."

I nodded. But how does this concern a fake engagement? Which involves me in a leading role?

"When I was eighteen I joined the army. My aunt let me make the decision myself, giving neither positive nor negative reasons why I should or shouldn't join. I love my aunt even more for that now. At the time it was frustrating, since I was at that point in my life where I had to start to take control of my own decisions and live with the consequences of them."

He lent further back into the couch.

"And the army did turn out to be the right decision. I did well, and ended up on the same team as Ranger, Tank and Bobby. We went through some tough times together as a team, but all of us emerged alive and usually intact. When our contracts ended, Ranger decided to start Rangeman and asked us to help him start up the business."

Once again, Lester's eyes focused on me, but instead of a half smile his face had broken into a full grin, "I bet you didn't know that Tank, Bobby and I are full partners of Rangeman?"

What? My shock must have shown because his eyes twinkled.

"We don't like to have to deal with the business side of things too much, so we let Ranger be the spokesman of the company – but each of us holds an equal share in the entire company, and has an equal say in how things are run and what is done."

Wow. I never would have guessed that. I always thought Ranger in charge completely. And the others don't show off their partnerships at all...

"So – about mid last year, my aunt got the idea into her head that it was time for me to settle down. I had a good and stable job which wasn't too dangerous. I owned part of a very well doing company..." Lester sighed and paused, "But I think the main reason is because she knows that once she passes on, I'll have no other family left, and doesn't want me to be alone."

Ok – that's probably a fairly normal thought for an elderly aunt. But I still don't get the whole engagement thing...

"Steph, I can tell that you're wondering how this whole engagement thing got started, right?"

I nodded.

"After two months of phone calls nearly every day from my aunt about the issue of 'settling down' I was starting to go crazy. It was non-stop nagging. So I lied. I told her I had met somebody I was interested in, and we had gone on a few dates. When my aunt pressured for a name, I just splurted yours out. It was the evening after that afternoon we had bumped into each other at the police station and you were completely covered in jelly. I still had the image of you trekking into the police station dripping raspberry flavoured jelly on the floor." He winked at me.

I made a face as a response. That had happened before I started working properly for Rangeman. I remember that skip. Tiffany Moores – professional wrestler. Unfortunately, the day I went to bring her in, she was wrestling in jelly. It was messy. But at least it was jelly and not garbage or mud for once that I was covered in.

"My aunt backed down for a bit, but then two months ago, the constant phone calls started up again. This time about engagements. I was planning on telling her we had broken up later that month, but to hold her off for a while longer, I told her I was thinking of proposing."

Lester stretched his arms above his head and rested them on the couch. The movement caused a thin sliver of stomach to show where his shirt rode up. I couldn't help but perv a little as he continued to talk.

"I didn't hear from her again till this week. Now, for some reason, my aunt has decided that I must have already proposed, and is demanding to meet my fiancé. The fiancé who isn't real. And she had already booked her ticket up here and planned everything before telling me."

He rubbed his eyes, "And that's why I need your help."

Hmm... The whole thing is obviously not a joke. But there is no way we could pull this off...

That's if I decided to go along with the whole lie to begin with.

"Steph?"

I snapped myself out of my daze and looked at Lester's face. Of course I was going to try to help him. He was a friend. And I always try to help my friends.

I sighed, "Ok Lester. I'll help."

His eyes grew wide with shock, and a silly grin spread over his face. "No way? You're going to pretend to be my fiancé?"

Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but grin back, "Yes way. I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I will pretend to your fiancé."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I've recently become a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter - all feedback and encouragement is welcomed.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

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**

What Comes Next?

Chapter Four

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His eyes grew wide with shock, and a silly grin spread over his face. "No way? You're going to pretend to be my fiancé?"

_Rolling my eyes, I couldn't help but grin back, "Yes way. I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but I will pretend to your fiancé."_

* * *

I sighed.

When Lester asked me to be his fake fiancé, I assumed he had already thought of a plan...

Or at least, I thought he had a plan which would actually work.

I zoned back in on what Lester was saying, "... And so, nobody else has to know that we are pretending to be engaged, except for my Aunt."

He looked so smug. I almost hated to wipe that look of satisfaction of his face. Not.

Smiling sweetly, "Ummm... Lester. Won't your Aunt think it's odd that nobody else knows or thinks we've been dating, let alone that we're engaged?" His eyebrows started to crease together and I went on, "Or were you hoping she would just sit around your house all day while we're at work and not talk to anybody?"

His smug smirk dropped. "Oh."

Shaking my head I answered, "Oh indeed Lester. You know Trenton better than that – if I were engaged to anyone it would be all over the Burg grapevine in ten minutes flat. Then it would spread to the rest of Trenton, until everybody knew."

He smiled a genuine smile, "You are a bit famous around here."

I snorted. More like infamous.

"Yeah. Whatever. So for our fake engagement to look real to your Aunt, it will have to be real for everybody else. And that means nobody but the two of us knowing the truth."

His eyes darkened and a predatory smile spread across his face, "Indeed."

That one word sent shivers down my spine. In a completely good way. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all...

Lester continued, his eyes still dark, "And that means in public we'll have to be the perfect picture of a newly engaged couple..."

I just nodded, starting to get slightly worried of where Lester was going with this, "including being comfortable with each other, right?" He started to lean in towards me as I nodded again since my voice had caught in my throat, "In every aspect."

By now, Lester's face was next to mine, and his mouth was next to my ear. I could feel his soft breath against the side of my neck. I was trapped against the edge of the sofa by his arms resting on the edge on either side of me. I gulped, "I guess so..."

And then he kissed me. Gently. And I kissed him back the same. And damn, it was good.

Just as I was about to deepen the kiss, Lester pulled back and gave me a sheepish smile. "I guess we have that part down okay." I shyly smiled back, my thoughts and hormones racing, "Umm... Yep. We shouldn't have to worry about that."

He pulled back and returned to his side of the sofa. My body wanted to reach out and keep him where he was before, while my mind told me 'no – this is just for the cover story'.

I had been preoccupied with the war between mind and body and missed most of what Lester had been saying.

"... and we've hung out together enough by ourselves that it's believable we've been dating privately recently."

Well – that was true. When Lester heard I had never seen all of what he dubbed The Great Film Classics, such as Psycho or The Crows or Children of the Corn, he took it upon himself to take me through them. I have personally dubbed his 'The Great Film Classics' as 'Scary, Horrifying Films Which Keep Me Awake All Night'. He would bring the movies, I would order the food, and we would sit and watch horror films till morning light started to filter in from the windows.

So I suppose we also have the fact his car has been spotted in my apartment buildings carpark for whole nights as well.

Lester suddenly moved quickly of the couch and started to rummage around with his jacket, "I nearly forgot Steph... I bought this along with me in case you did agree..."

Looking at his hand, there was a little blue velvet box. My eyes widened.

Lester came over to where I sat, and knelt down on the floor in front of me, cracking open the little box, a cheeky grin on his face, "Beautiful – will you please be my fake fiancé?"

My lips spread into a grin, "Well, I guess since I'm back to being Beautiful to you... Yes Lester, I'll be your fake fiancé." His grin widened, and he slipped the ring from the box onto my finger. It was a perfect fit. And a beautiful ring – nothing ostentatious, just a simple gold band with a sparkly diamond. I love it. Too bad the ring is just part of the charade.

"So... I was thinking tomorrow, we could drive separately to the office together, but wait for one another in the garage, then head up to Level Five in the elevator holding hands. You can then collect whoever you'll be out skip chasing with, and the guys will know that the ring wasn't a figment of their imaginations." Lester paused, "And perhaps it might be a good idea to make a fuss about seeing Lula and Connie about it all..."

Hmmm... It sounded like a good game plan for starting to let the people closest to us know...

"Oh... We'll have to have dinner at my parents' house tomorrow night. Once the news gets out my Mother is going to go crazy about it." He grimaced and nodded in agreement, I bet the grimace was due to my Grandma Mazur, "And Lester, while I'm out, you should ask some of the guys if they mind helping me move some boxes to your place."

He looked gobsmacked. Hadn't he mentioned his Aunt thought we were living together, and that she was staying with him...?

"I had forgotten that part Beautiful... My house only has two bedrooms..."

Oh.

I shrugged and tried to act nonchalant, "We're both adults, I'm sure we can deal with platonically sharing a bed while your Aunt is in town."

"Yeah of course we can," Lester's forehead crinkled slightly, "though maybe it should tonight?"

What?

He must have seen the shock written across my face.

"If you had just been proposed to for real, wouldn't the two of you be spending the night together?"

Okay – that's true. It would be weird if Lester had left for the night after just proposing.

I yawned. Sleepiness was hitting me hard, "Ok. That's a good point Lester. I'm going to get changed, and then go to bed since I'm wiped. Feel free to sleep on the couch or the other side of my bed."

He nodded, "Ok Beautiful. I have a bit of reading to finish up before tomorrow, so I might crash out here tonight."

Shrugging, I turned towards my bedroom, "Ok. If you change your mind, just come in."

I woke up with my head lying on Lester's shoulder. He must have come in during the night sometime – understandable since that couch barely fit me on it comfortably to sleep...

My eyes caught the twinkle of my ring, from where my left hand was intertwined with Lester's right, and my heart beat speed up.

Just what exactly was I getting myself into with all of this?

And the major question which keeps on running through my mind – Why am I enjoying it so much already?


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I've recently become a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to the people who reviewed the last chapter - all feedback and encouragement is welcomed. I apologise for this chapter taking longer than I expected to finish and post, I was on fieldwork for a week, and then laid up on sick leave for another week after – it delayed my original intentions of posting earlier.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

**

* * *

**

What Comes Next?

Chapter Five

_

* * *

_

My eyes caught the twinkle of my ring, from where my left hand was intertwined with Lester's right, and my heart beat speed up.

_Just what exactly was I getting myself into with all of this? _

_And the major question which keeps on running through my mind – Why am I enjoying it so much already?_

**

* * *

**

My apartment – late evening

It had been a bloody long day.

I sagged into the couch, hauled my feet onto the top of a box packed with shoes and popped the top off a beer.

A bloody long day indeed. I took a sip.

Who would have thought there would be so many different reactions to me (apparently) getting engaged...

**

* * *

**

Rangeman Offices - morning

As per the plan, Lester and I drove in separate cars to the office.

Not per the plan, was Lester giving me this smouldering kiss with me pushed up against his SUV. But boy, I bet it looks authentic from the camera which was pointed directly at us. I bet it looks authentic, because it sure as hell feels authentic.

I'm making sure my left hand, and so the ring, is visible as much as possible, though it is difficult to do with the rest of me engaged in more... pleasurable pursuits.

When the mind blowing kiss ended, Lester smiles at me and I can't help but blush and smile back. He grabs my hand and we start to take the elevator to the Fifth Floor. Lester leans down, his mouth next to my ear, "Sorry about that Beautiful. I know it wasn't part of the plan..."

I turn my head, so we're nearly lip to lip again, "It's okay Lester – all part of the act right?" He just nods, and the elevator doors open.

When we walk into the control room there was a commotion going on around the monitors, with what looked like all the Trenton Rangeman employees gaping at the screens.

Wait up... This is all of the Trenton Rangeman employees...

Damn – I had forgotten about the meeting this morning. I glance at Lester, and from the look on his face, so had he.

Well... At least we now don't actually have to _tell_ any of them. Since they saw it on screen. And are now replaying it...

Tank notices us standing in the door way, and walks over, clasping both of us on the back with a huge grin spread across his face. Congratulations followed from everybody else. I swear – I have never had this many kisses on my checks ever. Or bone crushing hugs...

As Cal is giving me a 'squeeze-Stephanie-to-death' hug, the loud commotion in the room caused by the news of our engagement, dies down. That could mean only one thing...

I turn slowly around from Cal, who had placed me carefully back on the ground, to face Ranger.

All eyes in the room are flitting back and forth between Ranger and me. While all the guys know that anything that could have been, had been over between us for a long while – the tension in the room is noticeable.

I feel a hand grip mine. Lester. We walk forward till we're standing in front of Ranger. Lester clears his throat, "Ranger – Stephanie and I are engaged."

I watch carefully and see Ranger's eyes slightly widen. Ha – Ranger definitely didn't see that coming.

Looking at the two of us, Ranger breaks out into a grin. He does some complicated hand-shake with Lester. He then leans in to give me a congratulatory kiss on the check and whispers, "I know the truth about this." Lester must have heard Ranger's statement, as he squeezes my hand while I stop myself from gasping loudly.

Ranger just winks at us both discreetly, and tells the rest of the guys to settle down so we could start the meeting.

As the meeting finishes up and everybody is packing up their notes, I notice Ranger nodding towards Lester and I. Oh boy... He wants to see us in his office.

We follow Ranger to his office – hand in hand. I am now starting to freak out.

Arriving at his office, we walk in, and Ranger closes the door behind us.

"Ok. Babe. Lester. I know this isn't a real engagement." Both of us are silent, "And I'm also not going to let anyone else know the truth. I don't know why you're doing this, but it should be interesting to watch along the way."

**

* * *

**

My Apartment – late evening

I snorted to myself. Ha. 'Interesting to watch along the way'.

Boy – was Ranger going to be right with that comment.

I am still curious as to how Ranger knows about it being a fake engagement and not a real one. But I'm sure I will never find out.

**

* * *

**

Vincent Plum Bonds Office – late morning

I momentarily paused out the front of the Bonds Office. Now this was going to be the true test of whether Lester and I could pull of this charade. It was time to face Lula and Connie. Stealing my nerves and clutching the large box of donuts in front of me I pushed the door open and walked through.

Lula was sitting on the couch filing her nails, while Connie sat at her desk tapping away at her computer. "Hey white girl – what took you so long this morning, I've been waiting for those donuts."

I flopped on the couch next to Lula, and passed the box of donuts to her, "I was held up by a meeting at the office. Sorry." Lula just nodded as she shoved a piece of donut into her mouth.

Wow – neither of them has noticed the ring yet. I thought they would have spotted it straight away...

The door to the bonds office opened and Lester followed by Vince strode in. Lester looked around the office, and noticed the apparent lack of excitement from Lula and Connie. His eyes started to twinkle, and he gave me that slightly evil smirk...

Oh no. What's he got up his sleeve now? I was meant to tell the girls by myself...

Lester pulled me up off the couch and against his chest, "Hey Beautiful," and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, "You haven't told Lula and Connie the good news yet?"

He phrased it as a question, but it was meant as a statement. And by gods, from the sounds coming from Lula and Connie – they knew what Lester was talking about.

"Oh my God! White girl – what the hell is he talking about?" came from Lula, while at the same time Connie had moved from her desk and was picking up my left hand, her mouth stretching into a smile. Lula saw what had caught Connie's attention and jumped up from the couch, pulling me out of Lester's' embrace into a hug. Connie joined in. And soon the three of us were jumping around making those squealy girly noises.

Hey – I had to make it look believable okay. And that includes doing what comes naturally to a Jersey girl who just told her best girlfriends she got engaged. At the moment though it feels like it is for real...

Hmmm... I had better not get used to that idea.

Once the girls had rung all the information and details from Lester and me – "So how long have you guys been together? When did he propose? Last night? Was it romantic? When is the wedding going to be?" etc, we finally managed to make an escape with Vince in tow.

Lester pulled me over to the side, while Vince went and waited in the vehicle we would be using for the day. "I know it wasn't part of the plan Beautiful, but when Vince said he was meeting you here and needed a lift, I couldn't resist."

I smiled up at him, noticing the worry in his green eyes, "Its okay Lester. I sorta expected them to notice straight away, and when they didn't I was at loss with how to then tell them." I shrugged and poked his stomach, "So you actually ended up coming to my rescue."

He grinned and lent down closer to my face, "Hmm... Does that mean I receive an award from the fair maiden," I couldn't help but giggle, "Of course Lester. What reward would thou claim?"

A wolf grin spread over his face, and he turned us around, so my back was against his truck, "Hmmm... A kiss."

Hmmm... A kiss. I could manage that easily enough. Kissing Lester is a reward for me as well!

"Ok."

And with that Lester moulded his body along mine, pressing me against the truck, and cradled my face with his hands...

Wow. Lester definitely knows how to kiss...

A loud beep ruined the moment, and Lester backed away. It was Vince, indicating that we had to go now. I shrugged, and Lester pressed his lips to my forehead. "Ok, Beautiful – we both have to go. I'll see you after work." I grabbed his hand, stopping him momentarily.

"Don't plan anything for tonight Lester. We'll have to have dinner at my parents' house tonight."

He mock shuddered and smiled, "Ok. You better go before Vince drives away without you."

I turned and saw that Vince had started the truck up. I reached up, and pulled Lester's face down to my level, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, "See you after work."

When I had buckled myself into the passenger seat, and Vince was pulling into the traffic, he glanced at me smiling, "Bloody new engagees."

I looked at him, "Engagees?"

He shrugged, "Engagees – those who are engaged."

I chuckled softly and lent back into the seat. Time to change the conservation, "So, which skip are we doing surveillance on today then?"

**

* * *

**

My Apartment – Late Evening

I tipped the beer back and took another sip.

The rest of the working day had gone pretty good.

On the way to the surveillance job Vince and I were rostered on for, I got The Phonecall from my Mother. Yes - I've capitalised it in my head. The phonecall of course, ended with – "So I'll see you and Lester here at 6pm sharp for dinner tonight." And of course, with me agreeing to it.

After that the phone didn't stop ringing. I turned it on silent and ignored it for the rest of the day.

Obviously – as soon as I left the Bonds Office, Connie had started up the Burg gossip grape-vine, and the news of my engagement to Lester Santos spread quickly. Which is good for our cover. Very good. This way if Lester's Aunt asks anybody anything, then we're prepared.

Even dinner at my parents was bearable, and perhaps even pleasant.

**

* * *

**

The Plum Residence – Early Evening

I was starting to get nervous. Lester had just pulled the car up out the front of my parents' house and the full gravity of what we... Of what I was about to do. And it involved lying to my family...

Lester turned in his seat, and held my hands between his. Wow – I never noticed how much bigger Lester's hands were compared to mine...

"Beautiful... If you've changed your mind with the whole engagement we can call it off now, and tell them the truth." I looked up to Lester's face. He was earnest about the offer. I took a deep breath.

No – I wasn't going to back out of it now. Not when the plan was working, and I was actually enjoying the whole experience of being (fakely) engaged to Lester...

And, once we go in there and announce it to my parents, then my mother would back-off about finding a boyfriend and stop trying to set me up... So this does advantage me as well.

"No Lester. I still want to continue being your engagee."

He smiled and raised an eyebrow, "Engagee?"

I shrugged and opened my car door, "It's what Vince calls us engaged people."

Lester laughed as he locked the car, and we walked hand in hand up the path of my parents' house.

The door opened and I could see the silhouette of my mother and grandmother. They ushered us inside, with my mother discreetly checking for a ring on my finger. Grandma Mazur just grabbed my hand and peered at it – then to Lester she nodded, "Good choice." He just grinned and winked at her in response.

Grandma Mazur dragged both of us into the dining room. My dad was already seated at the dinner table. Lester strode over to him, "Mr Plum, I would like to ask you for your daughters hand in marriage."

Dad leaned back in his chair and slightly narrowed his eyes, "It's a bit late for that, don't you think."

Lester shrugged and a slight smile played on his lips, "Yes it is. But I thought you might appreciate being asked anyway." Dad smiled and held out his hand to Lester, which Lester clasped in a handshake, "Thanks for the thought lad. I trust Stephanie's judgement though, so no need to ask my opinion. If Stephanie chose you, then your worthy for me."

I smiled at my father. I never knew that he trusted my judgement in this way. He wasn't especially happy when I married The Dick (aka. Dickie Orr)... But I suppose I've grown up a lot since then.

Lester's stance relaxed, and we both sat down at the table. Mum and grandma started to bring out the food. Yum. Pot roast with vegetables. And I bet there's pineapple upside down cake for dessert as well!

**

* * *

**

My Apartment – Late Evening

Ok – so dinner with my parents went really well. Of course, Lester and I had to retell the same story Lula and Connie got this morning. And of course Grandma Mazur asked embarrassing questions about our sex life. But at least Valerie, Albert and the girls weren't there. Mum had thought that would be too much, and she had wanted a chance to actually talk to Lester.

In the kitchen, when I was helping with the dishes and collecting my leftovers, Mum mentioned that she thought Lester was definitely The One for me, and how she could see he was in love with me. I was thrown by that, and could do nothing but goggle at her for a moment. Thankfully, Lester popped into the kitchen at the moment, to check if I was ready to leave, and I was able to scamper away without mum mentioning any more nonsense like that.

Because it was nonsense... Obviously she's just happy that I've (apparently) found someone to settle down with...

Right.

I shake my head, and take another sip of beer.

Of course it was nonsense. Mum's just seeing what she wants to see.

Lester couldn't actually be in love with me.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I've recently become a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter – I'm really glad that you're enjoying the fic so far. Hope you like this chapter!

Also – I'm thinking of writing the next chapter from Lester's perspective. Usually my fics switch between the main characters constantly, so you know what's going on in all of their heads, but this fic isn't like that. I feel that Lester might need a chapter to show his perspective and reasoning. What do you guys think?

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

**

* * *

**

What Comes Next?

Chapter Six

_

* * *

_

Of course it was nonsense. Mum's just seeing what she wants to see.

_Lester couldn't actually be in love with me. _

* * *

Hmmm... This was nice.

I slowly cracked open my eyes to find myself curled around Lester with my head resting on his shoulder, and our legs intertwined.

I guess sharing a bed when his Aunt is in town wouldn't be too bad – not if I woke up every morning feeling this comfortable.

Glancing at the clock I tense up – 10am! Wow, we must have been really tired last night. I lay my head gently down against Lester's shoulder again. I guess packing even my meagre possessions into boxes takes it out of you...

Too bad that some of the guys are arriving at 10am to help move and we're still in bed...

Wait up – it is 10am!

And the Merry Men are _never_ late – even on a Saturday morning...

As I hear the locks on my door tumble open, Lester wakes up instantly, tensing beneath me, and starting to reach for where his gun rests on my bedside table. I can tell he knows I'm awake as well – mainly because the hand not reaching for the gun is gently stoking my hair.

I stretch slightly up to Lester's ear and quietly whisper, "It's just the guys. We asked them to be here by 10am, which it is now."

"I know Beautiful – but I wanted to shot at least one of them for waking us up."

I can't help but smile. I guess Lester was comfortable as well.

I snuggle back into him, and feel Lester relax again. He softly whispers to me, "Let's get some payback on them for letting themselves in..." I just smile and nod, waiting to hear how. "Just pretend to be asleep and go with the flow, ok?" I nod again, happily getting comfortable on Lester's chest once again with one of his arms now stretched around me. I wonder how this is going to be payback on the guys...

I can hear the guys rummaging around in the lounge and kitchen, trying to be quiet while debating what to do.

Obviously, one of them picked up the nerve to open the door to my bedroom, since I heard the familiar squeak of it opening. I long to open my eyes and check which one of them it was...

Who knew pretending to be asleep is really so difficult.

There's a slight shuffling sound at the door – and I can hear the click of a camera going off. That would likely be Vince – he always carries one with him. And no doubt, he will email the photo to everyone in Rangeman as well.

The guys obviously think that we're asleep, and I nearly startle when I feel the arm which is holding me start to move... Oh... I think I understand about Lester's payback thing now...

One of his hands is sliding up and down my side, the other tracing my collarbone. This feels good. Really damn good. And I can't help but moan a little. I lean in closer to Lester, while his hand on my side gets higher, and higher...

Before the hand could get anywhere good... Oh no – I did not think that... one of the guys coughed. I opened my eyes to see Bobby, Vince and Cal hovering around the doorway to my bedroom – all with red faces and averting their eyes from the bed.

Lester just grins at them, "Well you guys asked for it by breaking into my fiancés apartment." I didn't think it would be possible, but all three of the men turned a darker red, as they shrugged agreeing and moved back into the kitchen. Lester leans down towards where I'm still lying, and kisses my forehead, "Ok Beautiful, time to rise and shine," he winks at me, "Though I would have love to continued... Without the audience of course."

He pulls me up off the bed, and pushes me in the direction of the bathroom. "We'll start to load the vans while you get ready." I just nod in a slight daze from still waking up and realising how good Lester's hand felt on my body... Not to mention the fact that he wanted to continue...

This was a bit too much for first thing in the morning... Especially without any coffee or donuts. I think that I'll take my time getting ready and let Lester and the guys do all the heavy lifting.

I emerged from a steamy bathroom, dressed for a day of moving boxes... Or more likely – directing moving boxes. I peered at the guys from my bedroom doorway as they moved the heavy (or at least to me) boxes into the hallway and then downstairs. When I agreed to be Lester's fake fiancé, and even to move in with him temporarily as part of it, I never thought that I would be moving _all_ of my personal possessions... Or at least most of them. Lester assured me he didn't need my mismatched kitchen utensils. And when I protested about bringing all of my other stuff, saying I didn't need it all just some clothing and things – he retaliated that it would be weird if I moved in, and none of my personal belongings were there as well.

I let him win the debate...

And it wasn't because Mum rang at that point, asking if Grandma Mazur could take over my apartment, since I was moving out. Of course I had to agree to let Grandma live here – it would be extremely strange for somebody moving in with her fiancé to keep her apartment. Mum would have seen right though that (despite the fact it worked on her with Morelli and I). And if I hadn't let Grandma live here, I would have just needed to find somebody else. At least Grandma won't be so difficult to kick out when I need to come back, after Lester's Aunt leaves town.

By the time I had gotten off the phone, Lester was smirking smugly at me. I just rolled my eyes at him and told him to start packing again.

I was snapped out of my recollections about last night, to Lester's hand holding a cup of coffee in my favourite mug, in front of my face. He looked a bit worried, and I realise I must have been standing there blankly for a while. Perhaps he's thinking that I'm having second thoughts...

I looked around, and the apartment was empty of boxes, and by default, my possessions. It looked very bare now. "Hey Beautiful, are you alright?" I shake my head, "It's just that it looks very bare at the moment." He smiles at me and pulls me into an embrace, "That's because we just lugged everything downstairs for you while you were daydreaming."

Jokingly I punch him in the shoulder, "I was supervising. Not daydreaming."

Ha – supervising without talking. Or paying attention.

Laughingly he replied, "Aha. If you want to call daydreaming 'supervising' go ahead. Are you ready to go? Vince and Cal have already started heading over to my place."

Scooping my purse up from the kitchen counter, I gave my apartment the last glance over and shot a cheeky grin at Lester while heading towards the front door, "Oh – don't you mean _our_ place?"

Suddenly Lester was in front of me, and I had my back pressed between the wall and his body. I look up into Lester's face, but there's an unreadable emotion on it... One I've never seen on Lester's face before... And his eyes have darkened as well...

Oh wow – and now he's kissing me. Again. Passionately.

This could easily become a habit I very much enjoy.

A cough from beside us causes Lester to break the kiss. Damn interruptions. Kissing Lester is fantastic. Amazing. I turn to glare at who is interrupting us.

Hmmm... So you can make a Merry Man blush more than once a day, since Bobby was standing there looking very embarrassed, "You guys were taking so long the others rang, and they're already at Lester's... Oh sorry Steph... At your guys' house..." He trailed off.

I couldn't help but smile at Bobby's obvious discomfort. "It's ok Bobby. Sorry we were taking so long." I turn back towards Lester, "Let's get going then." He just smiled in response, and grabbed my hand, gently leading me outside the apartment while whispering "You're right – it is _our_ place now", and locking the door behind Bobby who had followed us.

While I know this is only for a charade, to help a friend in need and all that... Moving out of my apartment is definitely very real. Especially since I have no idea what Lester's house is even like...

Oh no... What if it's like a Frat-house or something... Or doesn't have a decent amount of wardrobe space... Or a bathtub...

* * *

I try to look around Lester's house without being conspicuous. And to make it seem as if I know my way round.

Bobby gave me a scare on the way over here. He was joking with Lester about having enough space to put all my clothing and cosmetics in the house. Lester just laughed and said we were going to do a shoe cull. I nearly started to hyperventilate.

But I shouldn't have worried – because this place is huge...

Ok – it's huge to me, who grew up in a Burg house, and apart from a short period of time living with The Dick (aka. Dickie the ex-husband), has lived in a small one bedroom apartment since being an adult...

So, Lester's two bedroom house, with full kitchen, lounge, office and rumpus room, not to mention the two bathrooms (both equipped with bathtubs) seems huge...

Obviously, I'm not being as inconspicuous as I thought since Cal's currently grinning at me. "Hey Steph, you look overwhelmed, like you've never seen the place before." Oh no, quick – think of something to say, "That's just because I've never seen it so clean before Cal." He laughs, and gestures to the beginning of a pile of boxes, "Where do you want these ones?"

Bugger. Bedroom boxes. I should have gotten Lester to draw me a plan of the house last night...

"Ummm... Up the stairs, first door on the right."

Ok – maybe that wasn't the right answer, since Cal is giving me a funny look, "You want the boxes labelled bedroom put into the bathroom?" I just shrug and shot him a bit of a ditzy smile, "It will give me more space to organise at my own leisure."

Shrugging – Cal grabs the first box and heads upstairs. Disaster averted.

I hear a stifled giggle and turn round to find Lester standing behind me. "Beautiful – perhaps you should let me-"

Lester's interrupted by Vince appearing in the door with another box. "Gosh Steph – I don't know what's in here, but its bloody heavy. Who ever thought shoes could weigh this much?"

I see Bobby shaking in laugher behind Vince, and can practically feel the vibrations coming off Lester he was trying not to laugh so hard. I just cough and send a glare at Bobby. Shoes are not funny business, "Just upstairs to the-" Lester cuts in, "Second door on the left Vince."

We both watch as Vince struggles up the stairs, Bobby following behind. Lester pulls me towards him, my back pressing up against his front, "I didn't want to have to move that box again," he said in way of explanation.

Honestly. It wasn't _that_ heavy. I managed to push it along the floor of my bedroom into the lounge last night. And it was only full of shoes. I just shrug and settle back into the embrace, enjoying the feeling of Lester's fingers running through my hair.

Well – if Lester wants to be the one directing, he can go ahead. I don't think the guys will let him get away with not helping though...

"They'll be fine with it Beautiful. I want to keep you company. Anyway – I'm shouting them beer and pizza at Shorty's afterwards." Damn – I must have said that aloud. I thought I had broken that habit...

"Wait up Lester. We have to go out afterwards?" His fingers are still running through my hair, and it's distracting. "No – we don't have to. I set it up with Shorty yesterday, and the guys aren't expecting us there."

Oh good. I relax even more just enjoying the simple attention.

Until I hear the sound of a camera shutter. Bloody Vince.

"Hey Steph – we're heading off now. See you at work next week." Bobby's voice brings me out of my stupor. I do a quick glance round, and notice only a neat small pile of boxes in the loungeroom.

Lester loosens his embrace, and I step out walking over to Bobby, Vince and Cal to give them a hug each. "Thanks so much for helping guys. I hope you have a good time tonight." They all give me matching grins, "Oh we will Steph," Vince winks at Lester, "You guys have a good one as well."

Lester's grin just gets bigger.

What's this all about...? Oh – I'm sure that I'll find out later anyway.

Remembering the camera, I punch Vince lightly in the arm, "I expect copies of any photos to be on my desk by Monday morning. And don't deny you have any, I heard that camera at least twice." He just laughs and nods as the three of them head out the front door, closing it behind.

I turn around to locate Lester again. He's leaning up against the back of the couch. Looking very yummy in denim jeans and a t-shirt and wearing this ridiculously happy smile.

"So – I'm going to grab a quick shower. You can show yourself round the place, right?"

Hmmm... Shower... Images of Lester in the shower...

Gosh Steph – snap out of it. Honestly. This is just a charade for his Aunt, a very complex charade, but one nonetheless.

I blink and realise I haven't answered, "Oh yeah – I'll just have a poke round and get orientated a bit better. Maybe start to unpack a few of these boxes." I head towards the closest box – it's full of knick-knacks I was going to throw away, but Lester insisted I just bring them with me. Well – this box is as good as any to start with.

Lester stops me on my way towards the box, gently grasping each of my hands with his, and pulls me close to him. Dropping one hand, he uses his to tilt my face more towards him, and places a gentle kiss on my lips.

Wow.

"Thank you for doing this Beautiful."

I watch as Lester bounds up the stairs, a happy spring in his step.

I sit down on the floor to start sorting out the first box.

All day Lester has been quite playful. More so than usual. It started to happen in the car on the way here, when Bobby and he were joking around.

He seemed almost excited to have me moving into his house. Oh wait – I mean _our_ house.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I've recently become a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe.

Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter (!) – I'm really glad that you're enjoying the fic so far. Hope you like this chapter!

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

I would just like to note that this chapter is from the perspective of Lester. And I'm posting this earlier than expected due to being on fieldwork for the rest of the following week – Enjoy!

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What Comes Next?

Chapter Seven

* * *

I looked down at Steph asleep beside me. She was curled around a pillow, and despite it being mid morning she was still fast asleep. I guess the moving wore her out. Heck – I feel exhausted from the past couple of days...

Everything has moved so quickly...

Especially since I never thought that she would agree to this scatterbrained idea...

Which my own stupidity caused...

_

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_

September Last Year

"Lester I just think that maybe you should think about finding someone to settle down with..."

"Yes Aunt Skye, but I'm not going to just start searching for someone. It doesn't happen like that." I ran my hand through my hair. This was not the conversation I wanted to have at this moment – especially after the day I had at work.

My Aunt was tsking at me, making the clicking sound that meant she was displeased, "I don't mean you have to put an advertisement in the newspaper personals Lester – just that you should be more open to finding your soul mate."

Oh god. The soul mate. Next thing is she'll be mentioning something about Tarot cards.

"And Lester. The only reason I'm bringing this up now, is because I did a reading for you..."

Damn. The bloody Tarot cards.

"Ok Aunt. I understand. The Tarot Cards."

I could hear the irritation running through her voice now, "Don't give me any sass Lester – you know the truth of the Cards."

I sigh. "Yes Aunt Skye."

I can hear the triumph in her voice, "Good. So promise me you'll be more open to finding your soul mate."

Urgh. Soul mate.

"Yes Aunt Skye, I promise I'll be more open to finding my soul mate."

"Good – now my knitting club is about to arrive, so I have to run dear. Talk to you next week."

"Bye Aunt Skye. Have fun knitting."

I disconnect the phone. Ha – knitting club. I know that's what she calls her Coven meetings. But if she still wants to believe I don't know, then so be it.

And what's this sudden persistence with wanting me to find somebody. Oh – not just anybody, but my soul mate. I lie down on my bed, still fully clothed. It had been a long day. Steph had ended up getting stiches due to some random skip, and Ranger was in foul mood because of it. Let's hope tomorrow is disaster free.

_

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The Present

Urgh. And that phone call was just the beginning. For two months, at least once every week I got a ranting about how it was my time (according to the Cards, and whatever the rest of the Coven gets up to) to find a soul mate.

Which gets very monotonous, very quickly. I look down at Steph - I'm not sure how Steph puts up with it from her mother constantly.

Which I suppose is why I said what I did next...

_

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_

Late November last year

Wow – my Aunt was really in full tilt today. All I really wanted to tell her about was Steph's latest adventure with a wrestler and the subsequent covering in jelly... She looked completely delicious covered in the jelly – I wonder if it was strawberry or raspberry...

Yum.

Wait up Lester. You shouldn't be having these thoughts of Steph. Not while on the phone to Aunt Skye. Not ever. Ever...

My Aunt is still going on – explaining about the Tarot cards of the Fool and the Lovers, and the beginning of new love, and how they keep on repeatedly coming when she does a reading for me. The main question now playing on my mind is how to get my Aunt to stop on the subject. Recently to cut her off I've been telling her amusing stories from work. Like last week it was about how Bobby got caught having a hidden stash of donuts in his desk drawer, and how Vince caught the proceeding punishment from Ranger on film. Aunt Skye got a kick out of that story. And the email with the photos.

Maybe she'll like to hear about Steph and the jelly wrestler today...

"So today at work, I was at the police station and Steph..."

"Steph? Is that your new girlfriends' name?" I could hear the excitement in my Aunts' voice, "I can't believe that you just kept on letting me prattle without telling me!"

Oh no. What was she saying before I cut in?

_Why_ wasn't I listening to her?

Because it's always the same thing over and over and over again. That's why.

"No Aunt, Steph isn't my girlfriend - "

"Oh – it's just the first date then. I hope you have something nice planned for the evening Lester."

Oh gods. What have I gotten myself into this time? I'll let it go this call, then next week when Aunt Skye rings I'll say the first date didn't go well, we just didn't click and decided not to see each other in a romantic way again.

Yeah – that's a great plan.

_

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Late January this year

"So, how is Steph going Lester?"

"Steph is going fantastically thanks Aunt Skye. We're getting along really great."

Damn, I'm starting to regret not correcting my Aunt when she assumed Steph was a date. But really – the week after, she was just so happy that I had actually 'gone' on a date and I didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise. I haven't heard my Aunt this excited since the Psychic Expo was last in her town.

"It's been two months since you started to date her right?"

Of course she knows that it's been two months – she has been asking the same thing every week for the past month. I groan silently.

"Yes Aunt Skye, it has been two months."

"So are you going to propose to her?"

Oh god – not again. How can I stop her this time?

"Actually Aunt Skye – I have been thinking of proposing," I hear a slight gasp of happiness on the other side of the line, "But want to wait a bit longer to make sure that Steph is definitely the one."

Oh bugger – where did that come from?

Not that I couldn't see Steph being the one...

No – I can't go there... Ranger and Morelli are enough chaos for her...

But if she ever gets free of that weird triangle...

"Well I wouldn't be waiting too long Lester. Steph is, from what you've told me, a vibrant young woman who must have men lining up at her door."

Ha – more like Morelli and Ranger breaking past her front door.

But she is very vibrant. And my Aunt has only gotten the second hand stories from me – none of them made up, just the ones which everybody else in the whole of Trenton knows...

"Alright Lester, I have to get going to my knitting group. It's being held at Mary's this week which is on the other side of town."

"Bye Aunt Skye." I disconnect the phone and sigh.

Bloody hell. I'm meant to be dragging myself out of this hole, not digging myself deeper!

Proposing to Steph – heck I'm glad that my Aunt _never_ comes to visit, because this is already a disaster.

_

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The Present

I stretch out and lean back deeper into the bed. Steph snuggles up against my side. It's only been two nights that we've shared a bed, and already I'm getting used to it. Dangerously used to it.

So far I've kept my hands to myself in private, unless she initiates it. I don't want her to think that I'm manipulating the situation or anything...

Though it's been difficult. Since Steph started working properly for Rangeman I had to watch myself. I just wanted to get to know her better – when she wasn't being pursued by two other men. And I have gotten to know her better and now count her as a close friend.

The slip up with my Aunt was genuine. And I was genuine asking for her help with this. If I didn't think it would crush Aunt Skye, I would have told her months ago. There's also the fact that while I won't take advantage of the situation – I will make the most of it.

Such as those hot, hot, hot kisses in the Rangeman parking lot... And at the bonds office...

But Steph – or Beautiful – as I like to think of her now, hasn't complained about it. And she has responded every time as well...

I don't think you could put that type of passion into a fake kiss.

Or at least I couldn't.

And I highly doubt Beautiful could either.

I never actually expected Beautiful to agree to this scheme. I was ready to be put down from the moment I mentioned it in the stairwell on Thursday – but when she told me to come by later that night to hear the whole story I was ecstatic. It meant I had a chance to not disappoint my Aunt by fessing up. I groan slightly – it still annoys me that as a grown man, I'm worried about disappointing my Aunt.

Then when she just let me talk, and explain my current situation I was embarrassed for having got myself in this situation to being with. But she seemed to understand.

And then when Beautiful said yes, she would pretend to be my fiancé, it felt almost real...

I think that's when it fully clicked what I was asking her to do.

What I was going to voluntarily make myself do.

And now it's Sunday. My Aunt Skye arrives on the 10th December, which is long enough for the people in this town to be thinking we've been engaged for ages. New news would have happened by then.

I was surprised when Aunt Skye wanted to visit for a month over December, since she rarely leaves home these days. But I couldn't detour her, despite the fact I'll be working the whole month. Those of us who part-own the company, tend to do more work over the holiday periods – especially since none of us have family in Trenton. But Aunt Skye would not be deterred. Especially on meeting my fiancé, or as she calls Beautiful, my Soul Mate.

Oh – I have to remember to warn Steph about the Tarot cards and psychic stuff before Aunt Skye arrives...

Beautiful and I make a very convincing couple, so I'm not worried about Aunt Skye picking up on the deception to much. I look down at Beautiful again, and gently stroke a strand of her hair.

Honestly, I never thought that people would actually believe us. 'Secret dating' and then a sudden engagement. Really – that kind of thing only happens in movies or novels. Or at least that's what I thought. I suppose those kisses, and how Beautiful and I interact with each other would be believable.

Heck – I'm going to have to start watching myself, or _I'll _start believing its true...

I can't help but let out another yawn. The last couple of days really have taken it out of me. I wrap my arms around Beautiful and pull her close. Another hour or two of sleep won't hurt...

I'm beginning to think it wouldn't be such a bad thing to be actually engaged Beautiful. Despite it only being a couple days since we started the charade this feels _right_.

To me at least.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter – I'm really glad that you're enjoying the fic so far. Hope you like this chapter!

I'm sorry that this chapter has taken me so long to complete – but I lost my muse and any motivation to write half way through (which is probably why this chapter doesn't read as well as I would like it to). I just realised that has taken out all of my formatting, including the symbols I used to show 'scene change'. Sorry for the double post and I'm going to go back and fix the other chapters up as soon as I can.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

* * *

**What Comes Next?**

Chapter Eight

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I sit down on the floor to start sorting out the first box.

_All day Lester has been quite playful. More so than usual. It started to happen in the car on the way here, when Bobby and he were joking around._

_He seemed almost excited to have me moving into his house. Oh wait – I mean _our_ house._

* * *

I struggled up the steps of our house... Wait up – Lester's house... Damn, carrying all these shopping bags is starting to muddle with my mind. Or maybe it's the cold weather...

Lester's Aunt Skye arrives tomorrow, so I've been out finishing up the last of my Christmas shopping. Though figuring out what to get Lester was extremely difficult. I juggle the bags into one hand, and rifle through my handbag to find my keys.

Lester must be home because there's music playing inside. Though I've never heard him play this kind of music before – it's very folky...

Aha – finally – I pull the keys from the bottom of my bag, and insert the front door one into the lock. Before I have a chance to unlock it, the door swings open. I look up to see Lester wearing a pained look on his face. He grabs the shopping bags out of my hand and pulls me inside.

"She arrived early."

Right – well that explains the music. And Lester's pained look.

"And she's going to decorate the whole house."

Oh no. Lester grimaces and shrugs, using his free hand to rub my back. I'm sure it was meant to be comforting – but after a month of sharing a bed, and having a mostly platonic relationship in private, it sent electric shocks all through my body.

Yep – this 'platonic' in private was driving me crazy. Especially when he's very touchy when we're out in public...

"Apparently it wasn't 'Christmasy' enough for my Aunt. I hope you don't mind Beautiful, but the whole house is going to look like Santa's Wonderland when she's though..."

I shake myself out of my thoughts and look up into Lester's eyes. He looks so sorry about it all. "It doesn't bother me at all Lester. I love Christmastime. Even the decorations."

Lester smiles down at me, and leans down to lightly kiss my lips...

"Ohhhh – You must be Stephanie!" A cry comes from the doorway of the kitchen. I look over to find a very youthful looking middle age woman wearing a long plaid skirt, boots and black knit jumper. She quickly walks over to where Lester and I are standing, and pulls me into a hug.

Ok – different. I'm not used to being hugged by strangers. I awkwardly hug Lester's aunt back. After about a minute, she pulls away. Gripping my arms she looks straight into my eyes. I don't know what to do, so I just maintain eye contact. Hmm... Lester's aunt has the same colour eyes as him...

After a few seconds, though it seemed like hours to me, she smiles and pats me on the cheek.

"You're perfect Stephanie."

Lester pulls me towards him, "Yes she is perfect. Aunt Skye, this is Stephanie. Beautiful, this is my Aunt Skye."

Oh wow – perfect. I've never been called perfect before. And while I'm sure Lester was just saying it for his Aunt's benefit, I got tingles from it.

"It's lovely to meet you. Lester talks about you so much."

Though it seemed weird to shake hands after the hug and intense staring competition, we did it anyway. I think Lester's Aunt was only doing it to keep Lester happy, so I went along as well. Lester's Aunt smiled again, "Please, Stephanie, just call me Aunt Skye."

I smile at her, "Only if you call me Steph." She nods.

A slight burning smell started to drift from the kitchen, and Aunt Skye's eyes widened. "Oh damn, the gingerbread!" She quickly started towards the kitchen, "Lester – perhaps you should get Steph out of those wet clothes, and the shopping bags put away."

Lester gave a small chuckle and looked down at me. I could feel my damp jeans and sodden shoes starting to drip onto the floor. And my hair was plastered to my head. "I think my Aunt might be right Beautiful. You're going to catch a cold standing round like that."

Shaking my head I lean down and pick up the shopping bags which had been placed on the floor nearby. "I know – which is why I'm on my way for a hot shower and dry clothing-"

Suddenly, I'm in Lester's arms and he's carrying me up the stairs. Well, this is a change from the normal private behaviour. Though I suppose, being here isn't private anymore because of Skye... Whatever. I can't help but snuggle into Lester's chest, and smell his shirt. Old spice with a hint of soap. Yum.

Lester slowly lowers me to my feet outside our – his – bedroom door. I place the bags on the floor and reach for the doorknob, but Lester grabs both my hands with his. I wonder what's wrong and look up to his face. I can tell he's debating something mentally – but these clothes are starting to get very cold – and I just want him to hurry up...

Suddenly, I'm pulled closer by him, and find our lips locking together in a passionate kiss. Oh god yes. I've been waiting weeks for this to happen. I feel the hormones which I've repressed kick start, and every part of my body feels like its on fire...

"I hope you're not keeping Steph from her dry clothes Lester."

We spring apart at the sound of Aunt Skye's voice floating up the staircase. We're both panting slightly from the kiss, "No Aunt. I was just helping Steph with her shopping bags." Lester calls out in a normal voice, not breaking eye contact with me.

Aunt Skye's voice travels up the stairs again, "Good – because the gingerbread is ready, and I was wondering after she changes whether Steph wanted to help me decorate it."

Me... Helping someone bake... Disaster. I shake my head in a 'no!' way at Lester.

He just slowly grins at me, though it's the slightly evil grin, which usually means I'm not going to enjoy what happens next, "Steph would love to help you Aunt, just give her half an hour."

"Ok – I'll pop the kettle on and clean up then." The voice from downstairs calls back.

I stand still watching as Lester steps towards me, "I can't believe you just volunteered me to help bake," I pick up the shopping bags, and turn back to the bedroom door, "You know I can't bake. We saw that with the chocolate cake fiasco." I turn the handle and walk into the room, preparing to close the door behind me, but Lester is standing in the doorway, a slightly smug smile playing over his lips.

The lips which only a minute ago were making my entire body burn.

"Beautiful – my aunt doesn't actually expect any help, she just wants company. And it's not baking – it's just decorating with icing and lollies and stuff."

Oh.

I put the shopping bags down at the end of the bed and turn back towards Lester. "Ok then. As long as I don't actually have to do any _real_ baking."

Lester rolls his eyes and shots me a real smile before turning his gaze on the shopping bags.

"So... Is any of that for me?"

This time I roll my eyes. "Maybe," I narrow my eyes, "which means that you're not allowed to look in them anyway."

Lester shoots me a sly grin as I place the bags in my cupboard, and head towards the bathroom, grabbing dry clothing on the way. I know that he'll start to rifle through the bags while I'm in the shower, but I elected to have everything I bought wrapped at the shops – so it won't do him much good. Ha! And while the Merry Men like people to think that they have x-ray vision, I know that's just a rumour...

Most of the time, anyways.

* * *

I trundle downstairs to the kitchen after my hot, hot, hot shower. Aunt Skye has been putting everything needed to decorate the gingerbread house on the counter next to the now completed and built gingerbread house... Actually it was more like the size of a mansion or castle.

God knows how only the three of us are meant to eat it...

Or maybe we'll take it into Rangeman or something... Though that would mean breaking Ranger's strict food policy...

"Steph dear – come along now, we have a lot of decorating to do." Aunt Skye ushered me into the kitchen proper, popping an apron over my head and tying it up at the back. She directed me to stand in front of the gingerbread house. There were chocolate chips, different coloured liquorices, jelly beans, freckles, dew drops and stacks of other types of candy as well as different coloured icings laid out on the bench.

I couldn't help but stare at the sheer amount and range. Aunt Skye smiled, and motioned me to start. "I'm leaving you with the decorating. I have to start on mince pies."

Ok then. Aunt Skye doesn't know I'm a complete failure in the kitchen so of course she's not going to watch over me the whole time, and I guess I can give this a try...

I gently place the last musk-stick along the edge of the roof, and stretch out my back. I glance at the clock above the refrigerator – whoa it's 7pm already! I must have been really caught up in the decorating.

A gentle smile crosses my lips as I stand back to survey my work. It looks pretty damn impressive!

Aunt Skye only interrupted once to say how well I was doing, and to convince me it would be a good idea to have my family round for dinner next Saturday evening to help us eat the gingerbread house. I was going to reject the notion, but decided that I actually _did_want to show off the gingerbread house to my mother and Grandma Mazur, especially now that it looks so good. After all of my previous disasters with baking, my mother would never let me help decorate when I was younger.

Ha – while I can't bake, I can decorate! It must be all that time spent in Tasty Pastry with Lula and perusing the merchandise.

I feel two strong arms circle around my waist and Lester places his chin on the top of my head, "Wow Beautiful – it looks fantastic!" I can hear the admiration in his voice, "I knew you would do a good job," he pauses and I feel his kiss the top of my head, "which is why I recommended that you do it to Aunt Skye."

That's so sweet – hey! Wait up! Lester told Aunt Skye to let me do it. Damn that man!

I turn around in his arms and whack one with my fist, "Why you-" and am cut off by a chuckling Lester placing his lips over mine in a gentle kiss. When he finishes the kiss, my knees are wobbly.

"I heard that we're going to be hosting a dinner party next Saturday." I look up into his green eyes and just nod. At least Lester knows what my family are like already, but now that I think about it, I do wonder how they're going to get along with Aunt Skye...

"Don't worry Beautiful – Aunt Skye has this knack of being able to mingle with absolutely everyone and ends up charming everyone."

Oh good – she'll need a bit of charm with my parents. Maybe I should let my mother know about the Tarot cards before Saturday...

Lester lets me go, and holds one of my hands while directing me into the lounge room, "And Beautiful – nice idea on having the presents already wrapped."

Ha – I just knew that he would peek!


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

Thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter! I was amazed this morning when I checked my emails, and I had all of your awesome reviews in there - especially after only posting Chapter Eight last night!

This chapter is more of an interlude since I thought there needed to be something to cover this week before the family dinner – so I apologise for its shortness.

I have a new job which involves me going out and doing archaeology-type stuff at a mine site in the middle of absolutely nowhere. I'm hoping this means that when I have downtime I'll have time to write, and that I'll also be access internet. Essentially I'm going to try and update more regularly, though if I don't it's because I'm sleeping (ha - archaeologists doing 12-hour shifts, it should be pretty hilarious!) or don't have the internet.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

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What Comes Next?

Chapter Nine

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Oh good – she'll need a bit of charm with my parents. Maybe I should let my mother know about the Tarot cards before Saturday...

_Lester lets me go, and holds one of my hands while directing me into the lounge room, "And Beautiful – nice idea on having the presents already wrapped."_

_Ha – I just knew that he would peek!_

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Friday 14th December - afternoon

I sit down on the couch in front of the fireplace and survey the lounge room around me. It looks like 'Santa Town', only more tasteful. When Lester told me Aunt Skye wanted to do the Christmas decorations and referred to it was being 'Santa's Wonderland' a different picture appeared in my mind.

There is mistletoe hanging from the middle of the open entrances leading into the kitchen and upstairs, a medium sized Christmas tree covered in silver and blue baubles with white sparkle lights, matching stockings with each of our names (even [the hamster]) next to the fireplace, and silver candelabras with blue candles placed tastefully around the room.

It looks fantastic.

And of course is all due to Aunt Skye...

* * *

**Monday 10****th**** December – evening**

Shaking the sleet of me I scan around the lounge room, seeing a bare Christmas tree – a real one (!) – standing in one corner of the room with a few boxes scattered around on the floor near it. There's no sign of Lester or Aunt Skye. Lester had today off work and was going to spend the day at Aunt Skye's leisure. When I left this morning he was mumbling something about blue and silver...

I hang my jacket in the cupboard and toe off my work boots then proceed to wander over to inspect the boxes.

They're not wrapped so they can't be presents... What does that leave then?

Crouching next to one of the boxes I start to open its lid, when both Lester and Aunt Skye burst through from the kitchen laughing.

"Stephanie!" Aunt Skye exclaims holding out a wine glass full of milk. I accept the wine glass. Weird serving milk in a glass – oh well – and take a large gulp of it. The alcohol instantly hits my tongue with a taste of nutmeg and cinnamon and I try not to gag... No wonder why it's in a wineglass, it's not milk but eggnog. Finally swallowing the eggnog I send a weak smile towards Aunt Skye, "Lovely."

I can tell Lester is holding back on laughing. Obviously he knew I thought it would be milk and didn't try to correct my assumption.

"We were waiting for you to get home Beautiful so we could decorate the tree together!" I look more closely at Lester. He's wearing a silly smile and his cheeks are flushed a light pink. I glance at Aunt Skye and see the same thing...

They've both obviously had more than one glass of eggnog.

I sip from my glass more cautiously this time, taking time to appreciate the taste. It's actually quite yummy.

Aunt Skye sits herself on the ground next to where I'm crouching and opens the box I was about to peek into before being interrupted. She looks up to me with a wicked grin, "Drink up Steph, you have to catch up with us, and we're already two glasses ahead of you." In response I take another sip.

She puts the lid off the box on the ground. All I can see inside the box is blue tissue wrap. Aunt Skye dips her hand into the tissue wrap and pulls out a clear blue glass bauble. Her other hand extends into the box, and this time emerges with a silver bauble.

"Lester and I decided that a blue and silver theme would match this room," Aunt Skye explains. Blue and silver were definitely not my family's traditional Christmas decoration colours – those leaning towards the gaudy golds, reds and greens – but I could definitely see the appeal.

Lester sat down next to me as well, having a swig of his eggnog, "Do you like them?"

I smile and place a chaste kiss on his lips, "It will look fantastic."

He grins and pulls another box towards us so we could start taking out the baubles to hang on the tree.

**

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**

Tuesday 11th December - mid afternoon

I let myself have a sleep in this morning. After decorating the tree last night and finally catching up with Lester and Aunt Skye on the eggnog – though I think they were going easy on me – I was exhausted. And I don't have to work today anyway.

When I enter the kitchen I find Aunt Skye bending over mistletoe branches, with small pots of silver and blue paints and silver satin ribbon scattered across the kitchen table.

"Oh hello dear – want to help me paint the mistletoe so it matches? I consulted the cards, and they said having all decorations matching perfectly will bring good things into the house."

Ummm... Good things? Like good decorating karma?

At least it will give us more of chance to get to know each other...

Not that I really need to – because as soon as Aunt Skye leaves, Lester and I will stop pretending to be engaged...

It's becoming extremely difficult to remind myself that this is all just pretend. At times I wish it wasn't.

Sigh.

* * *

**Wednesday 12****th**** December – late evening**

Somehow I manage to open the front door and stumble inside. It's bloody cold outside. Frost is already forming across the front yard. Thankfully it's warm in here. I shrug out of my heavy jacket and boots. Turning to go into the lounge, and where, hopefully the fire is blazing, I run into a body.

Lester catches me against his chest. "I finally get to see my fiancé," he smiles cheekily down at me; "I like the job you and Aunt Skye did with the mistletoe."

We haven't seen each other since Monday evening when we decorated the Christmas tree together. Our work timetables had been conflicting with him working shifts when I was off and vice versa. Thankfully we both managed to get Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning off, as well as Christmas Day. But this is the price we now pay – from now until Christmas all our shifts are at different times and barely overlapping.

Lester swings me round so I'm standing under one of the branches of painted mistletoe that Aunt Skye and I hung in every entrance way to the lounge room.

Lester smirks at me, a predatory gleam in his eye, "Now – that's better. We do have to test all the mistletoe... Just to make sure it working."

Oh dear. I let myself fall into the kiss. It's hot. Oh so hot, warming my whole body, and making my mind melt...

It's this type of kiss which is making me going crazy. All the lead up and none of the follow through...

**

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Friday 14th December - afternoon

Hmmm... Even just thinking about all of those kisses under the mistletoe is making me all hot and bothered. For the rest of the week after that, whenever we did cross paths (very occasionally – either at home or work), Lester would kiss me if in an appropriate place or if it was inappropriate, just touch my arm, or hold my hand...

Either way – kisses or touches – they were driving me slowly crazy. My hormones have been going haywire since we started this fake engagement. I've had to use all my will power to not jump him whenever we climb into bed together...

Or when he leaves the bathroom wearing only a towel...

Or when he's in the kitchen cooking up a delicious meal...

Or having a nap on the couch...

Argh!

At least to I've had Aunt Skye around this week to help distract me. In a moment of weakness she even convinced me to help cook the meal tomorrow...

Even Lester warned her that it may not be the best idea, but she gave him this _look_ and he backed off completely.

Sigh. So not only do I have to deal with my _whole_ family tomorrow (why my mother insisted on us including Valerie and her family – I don't know!), in Lester's house and meeting Lester's Aunt who is meant to one be my Aunt-in-law, I also have to somehow manage not to ruin the meal before we can even get it served!

And this all without bringing up Tarot cards – because that would be the end of any civilised conversation from Grandma Mazur, which in turn would make my mother annoyed...

Oh hell.

But at least the gingerbread house will look good.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I've recently become a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter – I'm really glad that you're enjoying the fic so far.

I hope you enjoy this chapter – I had a lot of fun writing it. I'm really sorry about the delay in posting this, especially when I was on such a roll before – but I couldn't get internet access where I was doing fieldwork for a month, so there wasn't much I could do despite trying to find reception (which a useless endeavour I soon discovered, and so gave up after the third try). Enjoy!

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

* * *

**What Comes Next?**

Chapter Ten

* * *

_And this all without bringing up Tarot cards – because that would be the end of any civilised conversation from Grandma Mazur, which in turn would make my mother annoyed... _

_Oh hell. _

_But at least the gingerbread house will look good. _

* * *

**Stephanie**

I can't help but smile as I survey the lounge room before me. It has somehow been converted by Lester, who just _happened_ to have a large dining room table in the garage, into an area for a full-on Plum family dinner. I'm extremely impressed with how it all looks. Lester even made the table settings match the Christmas decorations.

As soon as we stepped in the door from work early this afternoon Aunt Skye set us to work. Me in the kitchen with her, and Lester out here getting the table setup and ready.

Surprisingly – under Aunt Skye's gentle supervision – I managed to help her create this feast of food, with minimal fuss. Only one saucepan got ruined while I was attempting to make a toffee sauce. This is a grand achievement for me... So I'm feeling pretty proud and ready to tackle the ordeal of having my family round for dinner.

The doorbell rings.

Let it begin...

* * *

**Lester**

I watch from the entrance to the lounge room as my Beautiful walks steadily towards to the door. I suspected that she would be more nervous about tonight, but once again she has managed to surprise me.

Just like she did with her cooking tonight. It seemed that all she needed was more guidance to gain confidence – and now thanks to Aunt Skye, Steph has managed to gain a bit. I suppose having Aunt Skye coming and staying has actually turned out pretty good so far...

Despite her constant questioning about when we were going to set a date for the wedding.

Gulp.

I've managed to hold her off so far, and stop her from nagging Beautiful about it, but that's only going to last so long.

Yum... Steph looks amazing in those jeans and that blue jumper...

I shake my head in an attempt to rid my mind of delicious thoughts that include stripping the jeans and jumper off Steph...

I wonder what she has on underneath...

"Lester?"

I shake my head again and see Steph and her family crowded in the foyer, "Sorry Beautiful – I was daydreaming." I step backwards into the lounge room, "Please come in."

As Steph's parents pass me I give her mother a kiss on the cheek and shake her father's hand. Hiding a grimace I also present Grandma Mazur with a kiss on the cheek – at least I was lucky and she didn't try to demand one on the lips. Valerie and Albert both got handshakes and the girls a quick tickle.

"Oh... Stephanie and Lester, your decorations are beautiful."

I turn round to find the whole Plum family admiring the Christmas decorations.

"Thanks Mr and Mrs Plum. My Aunt chose the colour scheme for us." I gesture for Aunt Skye to emerge from the kitchen.

"Please Lester, Helen and Frank will be fine. And your aunt has very good taste." Mrs Plum – Helen – stated. By this time Aunt Skye is standing right behind Helen.

"Thank you. The cards told me that blue and silver would bring good things into the home for Lester and Steph."

Wow – I've never seen Helen Plum jump or startle before... Steph is standing next to me blinking at the sight as well. I can tell she's trying not to laugh. I just hope Aunt Skye keeps the mentioning of the cards to a minimum.

Before Steph bursts with laughter at her mother's still shocked look, I conduct the introductions and usher everyone towards the table, where the seats are prearranged by place cards.

Grandma Mazur shouts, "This is the pip indeed. How fancy with the place cards and all," she rounds towards Helen, "We should use place cards at home."

I see Helen roll her eyes towards Valerie, who shoots a grin in return.

Once everyone is settled, minus Steph and Aunt Skye, who I can hear rattling around the kitchen, getting the soup for entree plated up, I start making the rounds with the wine bottle. Both Albert and Frank decline, saying they were the designated drivers for the evening. Helen and Valerie were delighted with the lovely full bodied red I had picked from my cellar (which doesn't matter if it's actually situated in the cupboard under the staircase).

As soon as I sit down at my place, Steph and Aunt Skye proceeded into the lounge room. I could smell the delightful richness of the pumpkin soup coming from the plates. Yum. I love pumpkin soup, and Aunt Skye's is absolutely the best.

"This tastes wonderful Skye," Helen admitted after tasting the soup, "You made it yourself?"

Aunt Skye smiled serenely at Helen, "Actually Steph made the soup and dessert tonight."

Steph and I continue to eat our soup, while everybody else stops and gawks at Steph. I suppose considering my Beautiful's success, or lack of success, in the culinary arts, means successfully making pumpkin soup is big.

After a full minute of silence, Grandma Mazur winks at Steph, "Well Stephanie, this is better even than your mother's pumpkin soup." And then she went on eating the soup, slurping it down in large gulps.

I watch as Steph blushes pink, "Thanks Grandma."

I squeeze my Beautiful's thigh beneath the table, showing that I'm proud of her. She relaxes under my hand, and pats my hand quickly with her own. That's my Beautiful!

* * *

**Helen**

I have to stop myself from groaning. Homemade chocolate gelato with toffee sauce. Delicious.

And the fact that Stephanie made it completely from scratch is a miracle, even with Skye helping... Every time I tried to teach Stephanie how to cook anything it always ended up a disaster.

Hmm... I suppose Skye isn't too bad or as wishy-washy as I originally thought.

I smile at Stephanie as she clears away my plate, "It was absolutely delicious," I mention quietly to her. Stephanie responds with a genuine smile, "Thanks Mum," and heads towards the kitchen with Lester following behind. They're going to clean up a bit and fix some coffee and tea for everyone.

Skye catches my eye, and nods towards the kitchen where Stephanie and Lester are, "They're such a perfect couple aren't they?"

I can't help but smile, "Yes they are. And so in love as well."

And despite Stephanie's original protestations about it, I know that I'm correct. Lester is fantastic for Stephanie.

Skye grins back towards me, with a light sparkle in her eyes, "I keep on asking Lester when the two of them are going to set a date for the wedding, but he just keeps on blowing me off or changing the topic..."

Oh – thank goodness. At least it's not just me who has been asking when they're planning on getting married. I was starting to worry that I was sounding like a nag... Especially with mother ranting and raving on how a woman doesn't need to get married these days, but can be 'life-partners'. I hide a slight shudder. There's nothing wrong with 'life-partners', but I would really prefer Stephanie and Lester get properly married.

"Hmm... I know. Stephanie does the same thing with me," I sigh looking towards the kitchen again, "I do hope that they don't become one of those couples who are forever engaged but never married."

Skye nods her head in agreement, the sparkle in her eyes getting brighter...

That sparkle is actually a little bit creepy...

* * *

**Skye**

I _knew_ that Helen would feel the same way I did about Lester and Stephanie setting a date for the wedding. Hmm... I wonder whether she'll go along with my little idea of Christmas present for the two of them...

"Actually Helen, I had this radical idea earlier today..."

Helen frowns slightly, "A radical idea?"

I slowly nod and let a grin spread across my face, while discreetly checking Lester and Steph are still in the kitchen.

"Yes – quite the radical idea concerning the two love-birds."

The frown on Helen's face deepens slightly, "Alright..."

"I was thinking of planning a surprise wedding for Lester and Steph as their Christmas present from me."

Helen's eyes widen, and she blinks at me.

"For the 27th December."

As Helen sits there staring at me, Lester and Steph return with a coffee pot and teapot. Lester has obviously noticed Helen's staring dilemma and gives me a 'look'. I just raise my eyebrow in reply.

"Helen, would you prefer coffee or tea? I hope Aunt Skye isn't talking your ear off too much." At Helen's raspy reply for coffee, Lester fills her cup.

I watch as Helen takes a sip. Hopefully she won't let the cat out of the bag...

Oh good, the coffee is shaking her out of the shocked state she was in. Honestly – I've had much more radical ideas than a surprise wedding before...

Helen smiles at Lester, "Actually, Skye and I were just setting up a brunch date for next week," She looks back towards me and slyly winks, "How is Monday for you Skye?"

Hurrah! I have to physically stop myself from standing up and happy-dancing. Instead I smile softly, "That sounds fantastic Helen. We have a date."

Ohhh... I'm all tingly and fuzzy inside. A co-conspirator in organising the surprise wedding of the century. Lester and Steph are going to be so amazed on Christmas Day when we tell them...

Or actually – we can wrap up an invitation and give that to them instead!

What a lark!


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I am a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter – I'm really glad that you're enjoying the fic so far. Hope you like this chapter – it's more of an interlude.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

* * *

**What Comes Next?**

Chapter Eleven

* * *

_Ohhh... I'm all tingly and fuzzy inside. A co-conspirator in organising the surprise wedding of the century. Lester and Steph are going to be so amazed on Christmas Day when we tell them..._

_Or actually – we can wrap up an invitation and give that to them instead! _

_What a lark!_

* * *

**Friday 21****st**** December – Lester's bedroom**

**Lester**

It has definitely been one very odd week. It's like the whole of Trenton has gone a bit nutty, except for Beautiful and me of course.

I hear the shower start. Tonight was amazing. Everybody has been telling Steph and me all week about the new place Rumba – and it certainly does live up to all the recommendations. Actually, as I think back nearly everybody I know who I've come across mentioned Rumba to me at least once...

I realised as we were dancing to the Rock'n'Roll Waltz after dinner that I keep on thinking everything is real. The whole charade. I'm going to miss this after Aunt Skye leaves... I had better make the most of it now then.

* * *

**Monday 21****st**** December – Lester's House **

I was tidying up the lounge room a bit when Aunt Skye came in through the front door.

"Oh Lester – Helen is such a fantastic woman!"

I raise my eyebrow. I've never heard anyone describe Helen Plum as fantastic. Capable. Scary. Typical Burg mother. Yes. But never fantastic.

"So your brunch date went well then." I said smoothing the blanket on the back of the couch.

Aunt Skye smiles at me enthusiastically, "Oh yes. Brunch turned into lunch, which turned into afternoon tea."

Ok...

"That's great Aunt Skye. You and Helen obviously had a lot to talk about then?"

I get the enthusiastic smile again from Aunt Skye and nod of the head, "Oh yes, Helen has invited us around for Christmas lunch, so I was helping her plan it. We got so much done today – it was terrific."

"That's terrific Aunt Skye." She smiles at me again and skips up the stairs.

I don't believe that it would take two very capable women all day to plan a Christmas lunch for one family... Unless they're inviting the whole of Trenton...

Which is something Aunt Skye is likely to do.

Please – let it not be that!

From the top of the stairs I hear Aunt Skye call out, "Lester – Helen and I saw this new restaurant in town that looks just divine – you should take Steph there. It's called Rumba."

I smile. Divine for Aunt Skye is likely to mean lots of wispy scarfs and crystal balls. Or copious amounts of tartan. I think Beautiful and I will skip this Rumba place.

"Thanks Aunt Skye, I'll give it some thought."

* * *

**Tuesday 18****th**** December - Rangeman**

I'm walking down the corridor after my shift on the monitors. It's very early in the morning – 3am. I can't wait to get home and curl up in bed with Beautiful. I wonder if she's doing that slight-snoring thing – it's so cute...

I wonder if anybody else would find it cute, or whether it only affects me that way? Hmm-

Bang. I hit something. Or rather someone.

Looking up I see Tank. Oops.

"Hey Tank. Sorry man I was lost in thought."

Tank gives me a piercing look with a slight smile, "Its ok Lester. No harm done."

I nod and start my walk to the elevator again.

"Hey Lester," I turn round at Tank's call, "Are you looking forward to Christmas?"

What an odd question.

"Of course I am Tank. Steph, Aunt Skye and I are heading to the Plum house for Christmas lunch." Tank smiles widely at that. No doubt wondering what mischief Grandma Mazur is going to cause, "What are you doing?"

Tank shrugs in reply, "Heading around to my sisters place. She does the best roast turkey." Tank starts up the corridor, "There's this great new dinner place called Rumba. You should take Steph there and have a dance as well. Catch you tomorrow Lester."

"Night Tank."

Since when does Tank recommend places to have dinner and a dance...? Well it obviously isn't my Aunt's normal place if Tank is recommending it as well...

I shake my head – bed is calling. Especially since it has Steph in it.

* * *

**Friday 21****st**** December – Lester's Bathroom**

**Stephanie**

I let the water wash over me as I pour body wash onto my loafer. Tonight was amazing. I never knew Lester could dance so well. And the food was just amazing. I'm definitely going to recommend Rumba to other people... Well those who didn't recommend it to me anyway.

Sigh. It was such a perfect evening. I'm even going to go so far as to call it a real date. Even though I know it wasn't – I really wish that it was... And that Lester did feel the same way about me as I do him.

I stretch my arms. Enough of that type of thinking Stephanie – it will get you nowhere. This is a fake engagement and will be over once Aunt Skye leaves after New Years. Then back to your normal boring lonely life.

I turn the water off and grab a large plush towel.

At dinner Lester mentioned how odd everybody has been this week. I agree with him. Lula and Connie in particular. And Mary-Lou. Not to mention Mum. And I'm certainly not thinking about what Grandma Mazur said to me the other day. I can't help shuddering every time it pops into my head.

* * *

**Wednesday, 19****th**** December – Vincent Plum Bail Bonds Office**

As I pull up to the Bonds office I notice Mary-Lou's car parked out front. How weird. Mary-Lou never comes to the bonds office.

I walk into the office, and find Lula, Connie and Mary-Lou leaning over something on Connie's desk, "I think this would be perfect," Mary-Lou says.

I walk up behind them and crane my neck to see what they're looking at, "What would be perfect?"

All three of the women jump, Lula actually letting out a small shriek. "What you doing girl? Sneaking up behind us like that. You'll give me a bloody heart attack." Lula cried as she advanced on me. I take a step backwards to move away. An angry Lula is not something I like dealing with.

"I wasn't sneaking. You were all so absorbed by whatever you were looking at." I put my hands on my hips, "What were you looking at?"

Behind Lula I see Mary-Lou slip a magazine into her shoulder bag. She turns to me and smiles, holding out a brochure. I eye it suspiciously, but take it from Mary-Lou. How could a brochure be perfect? Turning over the bright orange paper I read the print – it's an advertisement for a new restaurant called Rumba. Hmm... It does sound like a good place for a date, dinner and dancing with a live band... Perhaps Lester and I could go before Christmas...

Connie waves some files at me, "Are these files what you are here to get Steph? Bobby rang earlier and asked that I have them ready for you. He mentioned you wouldn't be dropping by till after lunch though."

I focus back on Connie. "Yeah – those are the files. And I was going to come after lunch, but thought it might be nice if we all had lunch together." I hold up a bag of Cluck-in-a-Bucket, "It's been ages." I look back at Mary-Lou, "I bought extra if you want some as well."

Lula grabs the bag out of my hand, "I was just startin' to get hungry. Let's eat."

* * *

**Friday, 21****st**** December – Lester's bathroom**

Hmm... The girls were very odd. And Mary-Lou never really explained what she was doing except the saw the brochure and thought Lula and Connie would like to know about it. I'm still wondering what that magazine was though.

I slip my pyjamas on and wander into the bedroom. Lester is spread across the bed asleep. I slip into the bed and instantly have his arms wrap around my waist, and a soft kiss on the side of my neck.

"Goodnight Beautiful. Thank you for a fantastic date."

I snuggle into him. Everybody else can go crazy and act weird – I'm very happy right where I am at the moment...If only this was for real.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I'm a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you everyone who reviewed the last chapter – I hope you like this chapter! I'm almost at the end of the fic – there are only a couple more chapters left to write. I'm sorry about the delay with this chapter; unexpected visits from relatives and a burning need to write a PhD proposal have kept me occupied.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

* * *

**What Comes Next?**

Chapter Twelve

* * *

_I snuggle into him. Everybody else can go crazy and act weird – I'm very happy right where I am at the moment...If only this was for real. _

* * *

**25****th**** December – Christmas Day**

**Lester**

_Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way_...

I grip the steering wheel tighter, the palms of my hands sweating. I've never been so nervous or so excited in my whole life.

Last night I was sitting on the kitchen bench watching Aunt Skye and Beautiful finish decorating the Christmas cupcakes to take to Christmas lunch. While I was watching Beautiful – it hit me... That I am completely and absolutely in love with Stephanie Plum.

While Steph was washing the icing out of her hair, Aunt Skye cornered me, and handed me a small velvet box. "I think you'll have use of these fairly soon" and then she disappeared into her room. When I opened the box, inside were my parents' wedding rings.

Which sealed what I had already been thinking all evening – that I want to marry Stephanie Plum. For real. And be engaged for real to her as well.

_Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh..._

I decided last night that I would propose for real to Steph today, after we eat lunch and open the presents.

This morning we had a quiet, but very delicious Christmas Breakfast with just the three of us. I was able to put the fact out of my mind that later today, I'm going to be proposing to Steph... Again. But this time it would be for real.

I look over at Beautiful in the front passenger seat of the car. Neither Steph nor Aunt Skye can really hold a tune, but it is fun having them singing Christmas carols in the car. And it's helping to distract me from what I plan for later in the day, which is only now starting to affect me. Oh boy - everybody is going to be so shocked... Helen may even faint! I'm fairly sure that Beautiful will say yes... But even if she doesn't, at least I would have tried.

* * *

**Stephanie **

"Mum – lunch was fantastic. Where did you get the recipe for the honey-glazed ham?"

Mum smiled at me as I helped her clean up in the kitchen with Valerie.

"Skye gave it to me. That woman is a culinary genius."

I grin back. Oh boy – did I know that! The breakfast Aunt Skye cooked for Lester and I this morning was amazing. I rinse off the last of the dishes and stack them into the dishwasher.

When Lester and I told Mum that we were getting her a dishwasher for Christmas, fully installed before Christmas, she complained that she didn't need one. Since then, Mum has now changed her tune to, how did I live without one. Heh – it certainly makes it easier and quicker when cleaning up after so many people.

Aunt Skye appears in the kitchen doorway, "Are we all done?" Valerie nods and hangs up the dishcloth. "Terrific – it's present opening time then!" I can hear Valerie's girls cheer and race towards the lounge with Grandma Mazur following close behind.

Yay. My favourite part of Christmas. Even more so since I put so much effort into thinking about what to get for everybody this year. Hmm... I wonder what Lester ended up getting me. He took a leaf out of my book and had everything wrapped before arriving home, so I didn't even get to try and find his hiding spot... He wasn't so happy when he caught Aunt Skye and I feeling the gifts through the paper and making guesses as to what everything was though.

* * *

**Lester**

Ok – I'll save proposing to Beautiful until after all the presents have been opened. There's only one more to go now anyway...

Aunt Skye picks up the remaining box from underneath the tree and places it on the floor where Stephand I are sitting. I look up from the box to Aunt Skye who is wearing a cheeky grin, and I know from previous experience that the sparkle in her eyes always means she's up to mischief. Goodness knows what it could be. I just hope it isn't that deck of Tarot cards she keeps on threatening to get me every year. "You both have to open it together." I look around at everybody in the room and they're all watching Steph and I. Even the children are quiet and watching... It's actually quite unnerving and I can't help but shift my weight uncomfortably.

Steph and I undo the ribbon tied around the box together, and lift the lid.

Inside the box is a single cream envelope sitting on top of a leather bound scrapbook album. Steph picks up the envelope, opens it and pulls out what is inside. I watch as Beautiful reads what looks like an invitation. All the colour drains from her face as she looks up at me. "What is it Beautiful?"

She blinks a couple of times, and hands the invitation to me. Oh bugger...

Grandma Mazur pokes me with a candy cane, "Well boy, read it out loud for the rest of us."

I clear my throat.

"You are invited to the wedding of Mr. Lester Santos and Ms. Stephanie Plum on 27th December. Ceremony at 11:30am, St Francis Church, Trenton. Reception directly afterwards at The Ballroom, Trenton. Please RSVP as soon as possible."

Bloody hell...

I catch Beautiful as she falls backwards into a faint, the scrapbook open in her lap. I'm lucky that I'm not fainting as well, especially the way I can barely hear anybody over the sound of my own beating heart and rushing blood. One voice managed to pierce through my silent shock...

Grandma Mazur was leaning over Steph and me. I blink and stare up at Grandma Mazur as she pokes Steph with a candy cane, "I think she really liked the present. Got so excited that she fainted."

Well – I think this is now the wrong time for my proposal. Damn.

* * *

**Stephanie**

I startle awake at a sharp poke in my side. Lester's arms which are wrapped around me loosen, and I turn to see Grandma Mazur slipping a candy cane into her pocket. I look back to Lester.

Ok – I have to just make sure that all of this is real...

"That was an invitation to our wedding." He nods, "Right – and it has been organised for two days time." He nods again. I look down at the scrapbook still in my lap, oh dear god...

I feel the blood rushing to my head. Oh damn. I'm fainting... again.

* * *

**Lester**

I gentle cradle Beautiful as she faints for the second time today. I don't blame her really. Getting an invitation to one's own wedding is a pretty big shock...

Grandma Mazur pokes Steph with the candy cane again, "She's not pregnant is she? The only people who should faint more than once a day is either those dramatic-actor types, or pregnant people." Steph's rouses again and sits up properly this time.

"No Grandma I am _not_ pregnant. Because to be pregnant, I would need to have engaged in sex recently. "

Oh bugger. I don't think Beautiful meant to say that last part out loud. My face blushes red and everybody stares shocked at us.

I watch as Steph's eyes get bigger and she pinches herself. She definitely didn't mean to say that last part out loud.

I think it's time for us to go. Before Grandma Mazur starts to give us sex tips...

"Thank you so much for lunch Helen and Frank. It's been a wonderful Christmas – but I think Steph is still in shock over the generosity of our Christmas present." I haul myself and Beautiful onto our feet. I can see Aunt Skye putting the gifts we all received into a carry bag, and start to say goodbye to everyone.

"I knew I should have gotten Steph that little something from Naughty Pleasures – then she wouldn't have trouble getting Little Lester up." Beautiful is slowly turning from white to red.

Gulp. Yes – it is definitely time to leave...

I interrupt Albert and Valerie whispering to each other, give Valerie a hug and Albert a handshake. The gossip is already starting.

Honestly – anyone who _couldn't_ get hard with my Beautiful in their bed would have to be blind. I have a seriously difficult time covering up how hard I am when we're in bed together...

I say a final goodbye and Merry Christmas to everyone and Beautiful does the same thing, automatically following my lead.

I can't believe they organised a whole bloody wedding... I knew I should have proposed for real to Beautiful earlier.

* * *

**Stephanie**

I inhale deeply once we step out of my parents' house and walk towards Lester's car.

Oh my god.

I can't believe that I said that. Now they're all going to think something is wrong withLester, or me... And I know nothing is wrong with either of us – because despite Lester's best attempts to hide his hard-ons, it isn't always successful. The amount of times I wanted to jump him over the past couple of months ranges to a minimum of four times a day.

The car is silent as Lester us drives us home. I'm happy for the silence because my head is still spinning.

I can't believe that my family and Aunt Skye organised an entire wedding for us. And paid for it. Now I know why everybody has been acting a bit odd over the last week and a half. I look down at the scrapbook I'm still holding and flick absently through the pages – it appears to be a record of all the wedding plans. Dresses, flowers, venues, menus...

Oh my god. A wedding. They think we're really engaged – we're going to have to tell everybody that we're not...

Or go through with the wedding.

But I can't expect Lester to marry me just because it's all organised.

Actually I wouldn't even want him to consider doing that...

I mean – we're only in a pretend engagement to keep Aunt Skye of his back, so of course he wouldn't want to marry me. Even if I do want all of this to be real, it isn't.

And to top it all off – I still can't believe I accidently told my _family_ that I haven't had sex recently.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I'm a Tart lover (Merry Men! Yum!) and this is my contribution to what I'm hoping will become a more popular pairing/s in the Plum universe. I hope you enjoy!

This chapter is short – but I don't think it needed to be any longer, especially when I ended up writing it completely different to how I had originally planned!

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

* * *

**What Comes Next?**

Chapter Thirteen

* * *

_But I can't expect Lester to marry me just because it's all organised._

_Actually I wouldn't even want him to consider doing that..._

_I mean – we're only in a pretend engagement to keep Aunt Skye of his back, so of course he wouldn't want to marry me. Even if I do want all of this to be real, it isn't._

_And to top it all off – I still can't believe I accidently told my __family__ that I haven't had sex recently._

* * *

I quietly follow Lester and Stephanie inside. Both were silent the whole way home. The only sound was Stephanie flicking through the wedding album and this radiated through the whole car, as if it had been amplified.

I gently place the carry-bag containing our gifts in the lounge room and glance towards where Stephanie is starting to pace, her movements becoming more erratic with panic. Lester watches her in concern. Oh dear – maybe the surprise wedding wasn't a good idea – but the cards indicated...

Lester looks my way, pleading in his eyes. Of course, he wants to be alone with Stephanie...

I smile gently back at Lester and climb up the stairs. When I reach the top of the staircase I can hear Lester moving Stephanie over to the couch and sitting down together on it. Hmm...

Making more noise than necessary I walk to my room, opening the door, stepping inside and then closing the door. I sit on my bed thinking.

Of course I knew ever since Lester told me was engaged to Stephanie that it wasn't true – partly an Aunt's intuition, and partly because the cards told me so. I thought that my visit to Trenton would force Lester to own up to his lie, but instead he somehow managed to convince Stephanie to play along... Even going so far as to have already set everything in motion by the time I had arrived.

I was amazed and shocked when I was presented with what seemed like a real engagement between two people who loved each other.

And they did love each other - the week I arrived I could tell that they were both in love with each other. Stephanie was leaning into Lester's causal touches and going out of her way (unconsciously of course) to receive them. Lester watching Stephanie when he thought nobody was looking, with that soft smile curving his lips upwards slightly and a muted sparkle in his eyes...

Oh yes – they were most definitely in love with each other.

But neither of them had admitted it to themselves or to the other.

Honestly – children these days.

They've probably been in love with each other since they started the whole charade – why else would they both go through with it?

I smirk and check the clock. Five minutes have passed since I came upstairs. Slipping off my shoes, I slide across the floor and quietly open my bedroom door. I edge around the corner and sit silently on the top stair. I can see Stephanie and Lester sitting on the couch...

"Steph... Beautiful... Please stop panicking."

"But Lester, everybody thinks that we're really engaged, and now that they've organised an entire wedding... An entire beautiful wedding..." Stephanie sighs and flicks through the wedding album, "We're going to have to come clean."

I lean down further as Lester sighs and pulls Stephanie into a hug. He should tell her he loves her now. It would be the perfect moment.

"Beautiful – I was going to ask you this at Christmas lunch, but well..." Stephanie looks up him and Lester slightly clears his throat.

"Beautiful, I am completely and utterly in love with you. I love your shoe obsession; the way whenever you cook anything you end up with half of it on yourself; your cute little snores..." Lester pulls a small velvet box from his jacket pocket. I recognise that box...

Ohhh... So he was planning this anyway. Good boy.

"Stephanie Plum will you please do the honour of marrying me... For real."

I have to stop myself from clapping my hands in glee, as Stephanie blinks and looks very hard into Lester's eyes.

"You love me?" Lester nods and Stephanie hits him lightly in the arm, "Why the hell didn't you say anything sooner?"

Lester blinks shocked at Stephanie as she grins up at him.

"I love you Lester. As in forever love. For real love. And I want to marry you for real as well."

A huge grin stretches across Lester's face, "Well... in that case," he opens the velvet box "Would you mind if we used my parents wedding rings."

Stephanie gently takes hold of the velvet box, "They're beautiful Lester – I would be honoured to wearing your mother's wedding ring." Lester places a chaste kiss on her lips, "Well they're our wedding rings now."

I lean back and move silently back to my bedroom – from the quiet sounds echoing up the staircase, I don't need the cards or my eyes to tell me how this is going to turn out.

I smile, truly happy for my nephew and Stephanie.

And, at least now, all that hard work Helen and I did preparing and organising the wedding is going to be useful.


	14. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to Janet Evanovich. I just like to play with them for a bit.

I really want to thank everybody who has ever reviewed this fic – without you guys giving me feedback and comments, this fic would still be unfinished. This is the final chapter – I hope you guys like it.

Warning: this fic is not Babe or Cupcake.

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**What Comes Next?**

Epilogue

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The Trenton Times – 28**th**** De**cember 2010

**Surprise Wedding Trumps Trenton**

I was lucky enough to have been in attendance at the surprise wedding of Mr. Lester Santos and Ms. Stephanie Plum yesterday. Yes faithful readers: the Bombshell Bounty Hunter is now Mrs. Stephanie Santos.

The wedding was held at Saint Francis Church. Pale red and white roses were prevalent within the church, providing a heady scent to accompany the four-string quartet playing quietly. As I watched the guests roll in I was amazed at the variety and amount of people who had showed up, from Burg locals, to reformed criminals, it seemed the majority of Trenton was present. There were even some local celebrities present, including Sally Sweet, who looked fabulous in a blue satin ball-gown.

When I looked at Mr. Santos, who was standing at the bottom of the alter, with Father John, he looked calm and relaxed (not to mention very tasty in his dark navy blue suit!) – something I found surprising considering who he was marrying. I had the fortunate luck of sitting next to Mrs. Santos' grandmother throughout the ceremony. It turns out that Mr and Mr Santos had quite the odd engagement, where despite living together, did not engage in sexual activities. Grandma Mazur stated to me, "I always told Steph that you have to try and buy... She should have come and talked to me if they were having any troubles in bedroom related activities – I could have given her a few quick tips."

Thankfully, the guests settled down and the quartet struck a new tune. Everybody turned and expectantly watched the church doors. A cheer rippled through the church when the former Ms. Plum started to walk slowly down the aisle accompanied by her father, Frank Plum. The new Mrs. Santos wore a delicate cream satin dress, simple, but beautiful.

The ceremony was short, but tasteful, and afterwards everybody started to trickle towards the Ballroom where the reception was being held. Along the way I heard many comments about how the whole wedding had been planned without Mr. or Mrs. Santos' knowledge, and that they had only found out about it two days earlier. What a present for Christmas!

The Ballroom was decorated in the same colour scheme as the church, and instead of a formal sit-down menu, there were small tables scattered around the edge of the dance floor with tasty (and surprisingly filling) morsels to pick from. One woman who claimed to be a friend of the mother-of-the-bride was scandalous about the food arrangement, though I later heard her proclaiming to whom I presume was her husband that it was better than a formal meal.

Once the bride and groom arrived, the dreaded part of any wedding reception started – the speeches. Though I shouldn't have been surprised by the break in tradition, I was when Mr and Mrs Santos went up onto the stage to start the speeches.

Contrary to all weddings I have attended, or participated in, the speech given by Mr and Mrs Santos was a definite eye opener. It turns out, that their entire engagement was a fake. A hoax played to perfection by both of them for the benefit of Mr Santos' aunt. Shocked gasps and looks of amazement from the majority of guests followed this statement. Mr and Mrs Santos continued their speech, saying that it had taken a surprise wedding to be gifted to them to realise that they were completely in love with each other.

As the reception continued, a swing band playing merrily from the stage, and the guests stopped gossiping and started to dance, I bumped into Ranger, Mr and Mrs Santos' employer. When posed with the question of what he thought about (what I am dubbing) the greatest hoax of Trenton and the surprise wedding all I managed to glean from him was a slight smirk and, "No comment." However, Mrs Santos' partner at Rangeman, Bobby, was willing to make a statement on behalf of the company, "Steph and Lester – we're all really happy for you. Congratulations... And thank god Steph wasn't late for her own wedding."

I posed the question to Helen Plum, Mrs Santos' mother, about whether she knew it was fake engagement. Mrs Plum proceeded on a lengthy speech about how she _almost _couldn't believe her daughter had participated in such a hoax, but ended with the statement, "While I believed the engagement was real, I picked that they were in love with each other way before they admitted to each other anyway."

I managed to eventually corner Mr Santos' aunt, Skye Santos, after the delicious wedding cake had been served to ask her what she thought of the revelation. Once again, I was left surprised as she stated, "Oh dear – I knew they weren't really engaged the whole time, especially once I arrived in Trenton. That's why I convinced Helen, Stephanie's mother, that a surprise wedding would be fabulous Christmas gift. I knew it would force the two of them to come clean with each other about how they felt." When I asked how she knew they weren't really engagement, the only answer she provided was, "The cards told me."

I unfortunately did not have the chance to interview Mr and Mrs Santos, but would like to wish them congratulations on behalf of the Trenton Times, and hopes that whatever comes next for the couple is filled with happiness.

- Joanne Smith, journalist

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**The End**


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